Living in a society full of people with different interests and opinions has advantages and disadvantages. Being with others gives us greater access to resources and information, but it also implies that we adapt to what others expect of us… something that sometimes even unconsciously in contexts in which we give in too much.
Thus, group pressure is one of those drawbacks that we must know how to deal with when living in society or in groups of practically any size, given that we have a propensity to accept the points of view that the majority imposes on us. In this article we will see several tips on how to deal with peer pressure
Although being surrounded by people allows us to reach very good quality of life standards, it is known that we must maintain a balance between what we obtain from society and what we sacrifice in order to fit well into it. This can apply both to society in general, such as its laws and norms, and to portions of it: our work colleagues, our families, friends, etc.
And it is that this balance between the defense of one’s own subjectivity and the points of view of those around us I have always been a topic of study addressed by those who are part of the history of psychology.
For example, this is a topic that has great importance in the theories of psychic structures proposed by Sigmund Freud, according to which part of the norms and interests of others are internalized by the individual, to the point that he gives in to them. elements without realizing it.
But Solomon Asch is the most discussed psychologist when talking about the way in which peer pressure affects our lives This researcher in Social Psychology carried out studies on conformity in which he saw how people tend to express ideas that coincide with those of others for the simple fact that many people held them, despite them being obviously false.
So, since knowing how to deal with peer pressure has a lot to do with detecting when we unconsciously bend to the will of others, let’s look at a series of tips on how to combine our own vision of reality with a reasonable respect for others. interests of others.
1. If you can, anticipate what they will say
The first step is to stop and think about the possible arguments (or lack thereof) that others will use to exert peer pressure on you. This step is very useful to address the following, and in turn helps ensure that surprises do not lead us to a state of intense emotionality or anxiety that makes us lose control over what we say.
2. Don’t get defensive
One of the most common mistakes we make when we notice that there is social pressure directed towards us is assuming that we have to withdraw from the conversation or interaction, assuming a passive role that does not attract attention.
This, in most cases, is a mistake, since it means giving in to group pressure, although not doing exactly what others expected of us, at least making our actions not be noticed, as if we did not exist. .
Instead, what you have to do is redirect that pressure towards those who try to exert it against oneself How to do it? Let’s see it in the following tips.
3. Question the relevance of those expectations
The first thing to do is to refer in the most concise way possible that what we are asked to do explicitly or implicitly is not something that we are obliged to do just because someone wants to do it. The ideal is to have this message be interpreted between the lines, not expressed in an antagonistic or hostile manner because in this way the burden of explanations falls on the person who exerts group pressure.
For example, if in a group project you are expected to be in charge of writing the longest section, the ideal is not to attack others for trying not to assume part of the effort, but to ask who has decided to divide the parts that they have in this way. each one should do and why they have done it this way, taking into account that the most equitable thing is to establish this division by number of pages, and not by assigning sections.
As we have seen in this example, Group pressure is dissolved with our request that others be the ones who give the explanations and we have no reason to move until others have made an effort to give a convincing answer.
4. Express yourself assuming that others want the best for you
In this last step, one must assertively express one’s interests by speaking as if others take it for granted that your position must be respected In this way, others will be forced to adopt an antagonistic attitude, which is often uncomfortable for many people.
