Maintaining a friendship is a task that many people overlook Especially if these emotional ties are asymmetrical, that is, one party gives a lot and does not receive as much, it is easy for one of the friends to get used to having the advantages that come with being a “friend of…”.
Therefore, it never hurts to remember that it is necessary to maintain a friendship through small, everyday acts. Friendship is demonstrated with actions.
How to maintain a healthy and functional friendship
There are those who assume that friendships are like a title of nobility: a label that, unless something goes terribly wrong, will be retained for life. However, this belief is totally false for a very simple reason: maintaining a friendship is not something that depends on ourselves and our existence. It is an emotional and affective bond that must be nurtured from both ends and that, if not cared for, will wither over time.
Unfortunately, not everyone takes this idea into account, and they assume that they will always have the friendship of those who laugh at their jokes, share special moments, and lend their help when necessary.
For this type of friends, friendship perpetuates itself over time, as if it did not depend on the actions of people and had its own entity When they realize that time has worn down this bond, it is too late, and their attempts to rebuild that union seem the result of interest and opportunism.
On the other hand, knowing that friendships must be maintained is not something that comes from the defense of morality, but rather comes from the most basic knowledge of psychology. Beyond what we think or what we believe is good or bad, the fact is that whoever stops having the incentive to be friends with someone, simply spend less time and effort on that person, unless the entire relationship was based on a bond of dependency and therefore it is not a friendship but rather a toxic relational dynamic. Taking this into account… what can we do? Below we will review several tips to maintain a friendship.
1. Spend time periodically with that person.
No matter what happens, a friendship is demonstrated by spending moments sharing experiences with that person. This is a necessary but not sufficient measure, since everything else must be built on it. If not, it is very likely that some event that confronts the two people will not occur, but the fact that the months go by and there has been no talk It will mean that, no matter how much you have good memories of that friend, there will come a point where you will no longer count on their friendship.
Therefore, it is good to reserve certain moments to talk with that friend. Even if you are not nearby, new technologies allow you to talk in a similar way to what would happen in a face-to-face conversation. There is no excuse for not having regular contact.
2. Remember the symbolic dates
This is another of those examples that with little you can obtain a significant emotional impact. Remember a significant date, especially if it has to do with a shared experience, clearly shows that that person is important to us. Beyond the birthday there are many other memorable days: the day we started a trip, the day the first conversation took place, etc.
If you know that the other person is going through a bad time, don’t look for any excuse not to offer your help. There are those who try to avoid these types of situations simply because they do not know how to deal with them and are afraid of hurting the other person by making them think about what is worrying them, but in any case leaving the comfort zone is advisable because what can be lost (experiencing an uncomfortable moment) is nothing compared to what can be gained.
4. Expand your social circle if you wish
This is another way to strengthen a friendship. Get him in touch with other people in your social circle Not only does it enrich your life and it is a gift in itself In addition, it helps your friend get to know you better, through those who also know you.
5. Invest in honesty
Friendship is a space in which we can allow ourselves to be very honest. If you make honesty define you in these types of social relationships, You will be showing that they can expect almost direct access to your thoughts and opinions from you and that they will not be forming a friendship with a facade.
6. Use humor
Friendship relationships are those in which humor has more value, since you can joke about many more things, as long as it is done making it clear that they are meant to laugh together Therefore, laughter helps to relativize the importance of problems, which makes dialogues based on this genuine sense of humor become a safe space in which everyone can act as they are without fear of being judged.
