Dealing With Infidelity: A Trauma That Breaks The Bond
Infidelity is an issue that can cause a deep emotional and psychological impact on the people who experience it. At SAFE Psychology, as psychologists specialized in couples therapy, I have worked with numerous couples who face this painful situation. lInfidelity not only puts the relationship at risk, but can also trigger a series of consequences that affect both the individual and the couple’s dynamics.. In this article, I will explore how we address infidelity in couples therapy and how trauma-informed therapy can be an effective tool in this process.
Infidelity is a betrayal of the couple’s agreements, and this breach of trust is often experienced as a traumatic experience. People who have been betrayed may experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress, such as intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and constant rumination about the event. These symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years, especially if the infidelity stems from a significant relationship..
It is common for betrayed people to feel derealized, as if they were living in a nightmare. Feelings of disbelief and shock are common, and these can manifest in the form of intense anxiety, somatization (such as nausea or body aches), and a lot of sadness and anger. Understanding that these reactions are normal in an abnormal context is crucial to beginning the healing process.
Infidelity can trigger a series of intense and conflicting emotions in the affected person, such as sadness, anger, confusion, resentment, and hopelessness. These feelings can vary in intensity and duration, depending on factors such as the history of the relationship, the nature of the infidelity, and the individual characteristics of the people involved..
Acknowledging and validating these emotions are essential steps on the road to recovery. Those affected often feel isolated and misunderstood, which can aggravate their pain. In therapy, we work to create a safe space where they can express and process these emotions without judgment or pressure.
Infidelity rarely occurs in a vacuum. For the person who has suffered infidelity, a continuous question arises about the “why” of the infidelity. There won’t always be a concrete answer, but it’s important to allow space to understand the underlying dynamics that may have contributed to the infidelity.
Factors such as lack of communication, emotional or sexual dissatisfaction, self-esteem problems, and external stress can play a significant role. In therapy, we explore these areas to help the couple identify and address issues that may have led to the infidelity.. This process of introspection not only helps prevent future betrayals, but also strengthens the relationship by improving mutual understanding and emotional connection.
The role of EMDR Therapy
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy has proven to be very effective in treating trauma, including those derived from infidelity. EMDR helps people process and desensitize themselves from traumatic memories, reducing their emotional intensity and allowing for a healthy integration of the experience. This therapeutic approach allows individuals to transform their negative perceptions and intrusive symptoms into a narrative that does not control their lives.
During EMDR sessions, painful memories are worked with in a structured way. The therapist guides the patient through a series of eye movements while focusing on specific aspects of the trauma. This process facilitates a natural desensitization, helping the person reduce the distress associated with the memories and improve their overall well-being.
The road to regaining trust after infidelity is long and requires commitment from both parties. Couples therapy focuses on several key aspects:
In some cases, it is necessary to complement couples therapy with individual sessions. Individual therapy can help treat low self-esteem, emotional dependency and other aspects that affect the couple’s dynamics and the well-being of each member of the couple.
Redefining the Relationship
If the couple decides to continue the relationship, the change must be profound and significant. It is not simply about forgetting and moving on, but about redefining and redesigning the relationship. This involves creating new roles and scenarios that allow both members of the couple to feel that the relationship has evolved and that trust can be genuinely restored..
The narrative of what happened also plays a crucial role in this process. By deconstructing the existing narrative and reconstructing it from a new perspective, the couple can find a sense of renewal and hope. This approach helps to remove responsibility from the victim and focus the objective of the intervention on repairing what happened and rebuilding the relationship.
For couples therapy to be effective, both partners must be committed to the recovery process. This means attending sessions regularly, practicing the techniques learned in therapy, and being willing to work on individual and couple problems.. Mutual commitment is essential to creating a supportive and growing environment that allows the couple to overcome challenges and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Therapy is not just a process that occurs in sessions. It is important for couples to integrate what they learn into their daily lives. This includes practicing effective communication, managing stress in healthy ways, and spending time on activities that strengthen your emotional connection. Integrating these practices into daily life helps maintain the progress made in therapy and prevent future conflicts.
If you are dealing with the pain of infidelity, you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can provide the support and tools necessary to navigate this difficult path. Infidelity doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship; With the right approach, it can be an opportunity for growth and transformation.
Schedule your informational call today and begin the journey toward healing and strengthening your relationship. Allow us to accompany you in this process and help you find the peace and reconciliation you need.
In my practice as a psychologist specializing in couples therapy, I have seen how couples can overcome even the most difficult challenges with the right support. Infidelity is a tough ordeal, but with the right therapeutic approach, it is possible to rebuild a relationship based on trust and renewed love. Don’t wait any longer to seek the help that you and your partner deserve. Contact me today and together we can begin to heal..
