7 Steps To Know How To Create Better Conversations
Intelligence is a very general mental capacity, and one of the areas of life in which it is expressed most and best is in the conversations we have in real time with friends, colleagues potential clients… What we verbalize speaks about the type of person we are, and precisely for this reason it is very important to master the communication skills involved in this activity very well.
Now, there are many elements that can interfere with our way of expressing ourselves: nervousness, disorganization, mental blocks… Knowing how to minimize their effect is also part of the communicative expertise that we must know how to develop. If you want to start paddling in that direction, you can start by following these guidelines to knowing how to generate interesting, stimulating conversations and involve others.
Follow these guidelines and incorporate them into your daily habits: there are no magic solutions that are noticeable in two days, but there are results in the medium and long term.
1. Enrich your mind
The first step to enrich the content of a conversation is to enrich one’s own knowledge. Gaining cultural references on arts, politics and science, for example, means that we are rarely left without knowing what to say, because even if we do not know the topic being talked about well, we gain the ability to ask questions that contribute and are meaningful. for all who listen.
Of course, this step cannot be accomplished in a few hours, but it is the first one we must take, and apply it to our daily lives by reading books and articles, exposing ourselves to art frequently and, of course, participating in conversations. Which brings us to the next point.
2. Surround yourself with people you can learn from
The intellect is a muscle that is exercised by subjecting it to effort, and for this we must try fill our lives with stimulating people Knowing how to detect these people, furthermore, is already a challenge: is that man we admire really interesting, or are we only impressed by his aesthetics and the agility with which he speaks? The best conversation is one that stimulates the entire mind, not just the ears and eyes.
3. Learn to follow rhythms
Many times, the problem that causes the quality of the conversation to decline is simply the fact that not controlling the rhythms of participation There are people who believe they have participated in a dialogue when in reality they have been listening without saying anything, and there are those who monopolize the speaking turn and make others want to leave out of boredom.
To improve in this aspect, for example, if you think you have a tendency to talk too much, you can press one thumb against the palm of your hand the entire time you talk; This way you will be reminding yourself all the time that you have been stealing attention for a while. If the opposite happens to you and you don’t speak, plays to detect slightly longer pauses than normal in what the other person says and to quickly think of something to say, even just one sentence, without changing the subject.
Of course, at first this will not improve the quality of the conversation (quite the opposite), but thanks to this you will get used to talking more and you will gradually lose your fear of generating more symmetrical dialogues.
4. Put yourself in the shoes of others
Another problem with conversations has to do with the belief that others know the same thing as us. This can make what is said not interest them (due to not understanding those references). It’s good that you consider what type of knowledge others have and adapt to them.
5. Really listen
Don’t worry about your image; Simply get lost in what the other person says, their words. You will naturally look at her face and often into her eyes, but don’t become obsessed with it. Your attention should be on the speech.
6. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself
You can talk about practically anything if you find an agile way to link it to the topic being discussed in a conversation. If you think that an anecdote from your childhood says something about the ideological position you talk about with your coworker, bring it up, as long as it doesn’t take too long, so as not to ramble
7. Pay attention to signs of interest
When you speak, from time to time observe the reactions of others with the specific objective of estimating whether they are interested in what they hear. If you think not, “lighten content” develop an ending for what you talk about and look for a “landing” on the topic you think will interest you (and that possibly had been discussed before). No matter how much we master the art of words, what matters and what does not is something that is decided by the group of people participating in the conversation.
