Desire For Protagonism: What It Is, Characteristics And Possible Causes
Many people want to be the center of attention, something that in itself does not have to mean anything bad. In fact, most of us want to stand out on more than one occasion, to feel admired and valued by others. Everyone wants to have their five minutes of glory.
However, there are people whose desire for prominence reaches exorbitant, almost pathological levels. Interested in everyone talking about them, these people are capable of attracting attention and monopolizing conversations when it’s not their turn, such as at a friend’s wedding or the funeral of an acquaintance.
The desire for prominence is a harmful trait in excess something we will find out why below.
Everyone knows someone who loves to be the center of attention. It could be a friend, a family member, a coworker, or even ourselves. Most of us like to stand out above others at some point, for our merits to be appreciated and for us to be admired. This is something that, in its proper measure, is a normal, healthy personality trait, not at all worrying. Being an extrovert is highly valued in most contexts, but sometimes its excess can become a problem
There are situations in which showing a desire for prominence is not appropriate. Although the social context determines when it is appropriate to be the life of the party and when it is not, there are people who ignore social conventions and show an excessive interest in having everyone pay attention to them.
It is one thing to want to be the protagonists of our own story, something totally normal and recommended, and quite another to always wanting to prevail over others going over their will and belittling their desires, needs and emotions.
The desire for prominence already appears in childhood, manifested in the attention of children towards their parents. This makes evolutionary sense because, to survive during the first years of life, it is necessary for our caregivers to pay attention to us and satisfy our needs. It is totally normal and adaptive for children to seek prominence during the first stages of their lives
However, as children grow and become more independent, this persistence can become a sign that something is not right. Personality can be greatly influenced by education and other variables outside the genetic code.
The environment exerts a lot of influence on our personality and, combined with what we inherit from our parents, makes us who we are. Having said this, we can understand that The child’s desire for protagonism can be controlled by properly educating the little ones
Children need attention, but giving it to them at all times will harm their social independence, turning them into excessively egocentric people, eager to have the spotlight at all times, even when the situation does not suit them. Not controlling the desire for prominence at an early age will mean that, as an adult, we will have an individual capable of wanting to be the center of attention in situations such as a friend’s wedding, a family member’s birthday party, the funeral of an acquaintance…
Ironically, The desire for prominence in adulthood can also be caused by a lack of care and attention when one was a child When parents do not pay the necessary attention to their children or quickly satisfy their needs, the children may be forced to work extremely hard to finally get their parents to listen to them. These children grow up with the idea that, if they really want to be heard and taken into account, they have to work hard, that if they fail to get attention, they will be completely ignored.
The best medicine to prevent children from developing a pathological desire for protagonism is to teach them from a very young age that they are not the center of the world, but also letting them know that when they need something, they should say so. They must be patient, wait their turn to speak or play and understand that there are other boys and girls like them, with their own needs and desires who also want to be heard.
In addition, they must also be taught that being competitive is not always good and to recognize their talents and achievements in others, not just want to compare them with their own. Also, teaching them not to feel unhealthy envy of how much other people may have, nor to feel excessive pride in having more than others, can become a strategy so that they do not reach adolescence and adulthood always claiming to be the center. of attention.
And, also, to prevent them from growing up feeling like they have to work hard to get their needs met by their caregivers, It is essential to give the little ones affection, attention and care
The desire for prominence and histrionic personality disorder
First of all, we emphasize that showing an excessive desire for prominence cannot necessarily be attributed to a mental disorder. However, it is important to understand that this trait in adulthood is usually caused by dysfunctional dynamics during childhood with the relationship with their parents, both due to excess attention and being totally ignored In the most severe cases, this trait becomes pathological and manifests itself in the form of histrionic personality disorder.
This disorder usually begins to manifest itself in the first years of life. The ways of attracting attention among people who have histrionic personality disorder focus on aspects such as gestures, clothing, overacting, drama, exaggeration… All of this accompanied by Sudden mood swings and an overflowing expression of emotional instability Other notable symptoms of the disorder are:
People with this disorder have a pathological need to be accepted, approved, validated and recognized They are people who have ideal social skills to capture the interest of others, which makes them perceived, at least during the first impression, as attractive and fun people. In fact, their treatment during the first impression can be pleasant, giving the impression that they are very enthusiastic and motivated people.
However, as the focus of attention shifts to another person or something, they often express a lot of discomfort and do not feel at ease. They need attention, they need to satisfy their desire for prominence. They automatically do everything they can to take control of the conversations and redirect them towards them or the topics they want to talk about. Their self-esteem depends a lot on how much is said about them, which causes them to end up being seen as egomaniacal and vain people. They feel like they will die if they are not talked about.
