Assertiveness, that social ability that human beings have to express and say what they think, believe and feel, in a polite, honest, direct and without offending way, is increasingly known and is given the importance and space that it deserves. corresponds. Assertive behavior is the intermediate point between aggressive and passive behavior
And for good communication and for one’s own emotional well-being, being assertive, asserting one’s own assertive rights and respecting the rights of others, is essential.
You read that right, assertive rights. Do you know them? Have you heard this term before?
In the same way that there are certain labor, civil or criminal rights, there is also a list of assertive rights that help us behave in this way and that are closely related to self-esteem. The problem can come when we often forget about them or don’t even know they are there.
Some of these rights were compiled by Manuel J. Smith, in 1975, in his book When I say no, I feel guilty. Since then other rights have been added and added to the list.
Sometimes we value, behave and do according to what others consider we need and no one better than oneself to value and consider those own needs.
2. Right to establish your priorities and your own decisions
Closely related to the previous right. We can, we must and we have the right to establish priorities and make decisions: accept a job offer, change apartments, break up with our partner, take that trip… Let’s stop doing things to satisfy others and obtain the approval of others. and let’s be owners of our own decisions.
3. Right to change your mind
We can and are within our right to change our minds as many times as we feel like and whenever we consider it so. We can change course without feeling bad: change political thinking, what is believed about a person, certain traditions, what we previously considered a priority and with the passing of the years not so much…
4. Right to express your ideas and feelings
And of course also, emotions. Cry, laugh, show our anger… emotions are part of us, they fulfill their function and there is no need to try to hide them, nor hide them ; On the contrary, expressing them is a right and a necessity.
5. Right to say “no” to a request, without feeling guilty
How many times do we do something that we don’t really want just because we don’t refuse? We must say “no” without feeling bad and without guilt invading us when we really don’t want to do something, it makes us uncomfortable, or it goes against our values.
Something so basic, but that many times does not happen. If you notice, feel, perceive that you are not being given this right and the treatment you receive is just the opposite please don’t be silent, set limits and make it known.
7. Right to make mistakes
Human beings learn through mistakes, so blessed mistake! No underestimating ourselves or thinking that we are worse people, worse professionals, worse mothers… for making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t mean more.
8. Right to ask and give when you decide
This right is related to the one we discussed a little above, the right to say “no.” We have the right to ask for help or whatever we need and to offer help or what they have asked of us if we consider it so and also not to do so. Remember: not because we have asked for something, we later feel obliged to give.
9. Right to do less than what you as a human can do
Nothing happens and we should not feel bad for doing less than we can give.
10. Right to feel good
It is essential to feel good physically and emotionally speaking. So try to achieve it and don’t feel bad about it.
11. Right to succeed
Sometimes after success, envy comes from the environment which can make the person not enjoy it and even believe that they do not deserve it. Congratulations on that success, be proud of having achieved it and enjoy it, you are within your rights.
We all have the same rights and we can choose to exercise them or not.
To end…
Now that you know a little more about assertive rights, you can begin to observe and take note of them in the different environments in which you move, and if you perceive and identify that any of them are being restricted, you can work to change it.
