Empty Chair Syndrome And The Emotional Problems Of Christmas

During Christmas, especially on days where people get together, they tend to have very mixed feelings. On the one hand, there are people who consider these moments of the year as a time of joy or reconciliation, but, in other cases, they can be sad dates full of melancholy or worries. In many cases, this can lead to what is known as empty chair syndrome due to the lack of a loved one or, on the other hand, be a cause of anguish caused by bad family relationships. So how can we address these difficulties typical of this time of year?

What is empty chair syndrome?

He empty chair syndrome It is a feeling of loss that occurs due to a significant absence. This usually occurs with special intensity at times of the year when we usually meet with our entire family, since the person’s absence is even more noticeable. In these cases, people may feel sadder or even experience discomfort when meeting in a familiar environment.

The most common emotional problems during Christmas

Additionally, during the Christmas season, many people may feel worse because they may have a bad family situation, which also usually leads to feelings of sadness, anguish or discomfort. Some of the main difficulties that people may experience during this time are the following:

• Tense family relationships: We can’t always get along with all our family members. Sometimes we cannot share the same perspective with our family members and this can make these meetings become tense moments.
• Challenging family roles: Sometimes, some people may end up feeling that their family members make them feel ‘less’ or label them with roles that no longer really represent them. In these cases, this type of meeting can also be difficult.
• Attachment problems: Attachment is about the result that was given to us by the way our parents raised us. For example, if they were very authoritarian, this can end up causing us to have attachment problems and experience difficulties in our adult life. When this has happened, people may feel uncomfortable returning to a more familiar environment because of it.
• Isolation or loneliness: There are many people who may feel alone during the Christmas season. On the other hand, they may also have the feeling that they are the black sheep of the family, feeling that no one understands them, which can also result in a level of discomfort when facing conversations with their family members.

These may be some of the most common problems that can be experienced due to typical meetings that we can have during Christmas

How to deal with empty chair syndrome or difficult emotions during Christmas?

Although there is no single way in which people can confront these feelings during the Christmas season the reality is that we can take into account the following to alleviate the discomfort that this situation may cause:

1. Do not isolate yourself: Sometimes it can be difficult for us to relate to other people, especially if there is an uncomfortable or difficult relationship with our family members or if we have experienced grief from a close loved one. Despite these feelings, the reality is that it is much worse to try to avoid this situation. Even so, if you feel that the bond with your family is not salvageable or recoverable, you can always choose to have these Christmas gatherings with other close people.
2. Maintain a positive attitude: In many cases, we usually go to these party meetings with a negative or pessimistic mentality about the situation. Instead of focusing on the negative of these moments, try to think about all the positive things it can bring you and put your attention on that.
3. Focus on positive memories: If you feel sadness and discomfort due to the loss of a loved one, these moments of family reunion can be a good time to remember some positive anecdotes about this person.
4. Set boundaries to protect well-being: It is important that if there is something that bothers you regarding your family members, you know how to establish limits regarding it. For example, starting to say what bothers you, always with good words, will help you make these encounters not so challenging or uncomfortable.
5. Seek support: Although we cannot choose our family, we do have the ability to find good friends who can support us when family members are not there. Having your friends will help you better face this time.

It is important to keep in mind that Christmas Not only are they a time that reclaims family connection, but it is also a time when we can be grateful for all the loved ones we have in our lives, as well as remember the good times we have had with those who are no longer here.