How Not To Compare Yourself With Others? 11 Tips To Stop Doing It

Of all the psychological advice that exists, one of the most common and correct is precisely the recommendation of don’t compare yourself to others Although comparing yourself to others always leads to some psychological discomfort, many people have a tendency to use comparisons on a daily basis. But why do we do them and how can we avoid them?

Comparing ourselves to others: Why do we do it?

The comparisons with others It is a natural human tendency that does not have to be negative for us. In fact, we tend to do it all the time: we compare our current situation with a previous one, we compare ourselves with people of other ages, we compare our knowledge, etc.

When are comparisons positive?

Although we have the idea that compare yourself with others is always negative, in reality there are some situations in which people can improve thanks to this type of attitude:

• They allow personal growth: Compare yourself with others It can help us visualize where we are and where we want to be. Therefore, they allow us to take stock and calibrate ourselves against others. Thus, without this ability to compare ourselves, we would have no ways of knowing if we have made progress.
• Motivation: The comparisons They can also help us be more successful if we know how to approach them in a positive way. For example, if you know that someone has a better house than you, this can motivate you to work harder and earn more money. This motivation allows you to improve your skills.
• Feedback: Knowing that you are doing better than someone else or worse can help you work harder both to continue doing well and to improve.

When is comparing yourself to others negative?

As we can observe, the comparisons They can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they can help us motivate ourselves, but on the other, they can be a strong impediment to being good with ourselves.

Nowadays, it is very easy to fall into the negative trap of the comparisons, since through social networks we can see what others are doing. But in these cases, wanting the life you see behind a screen is not healthy, because in many cases it is not realistic: you see all the successes but not the failures.

When you only see the positive side of the person you compare yourself to, this can have a very harmful effect on your self-esteem. Compare yourself with others In these cases, it can make you punish, judge, or feel bad about yourself.

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

To avoid a negative comparison that affects you, it is necessary that you work on your self-esteem with a professional psychologist. Additionally, you can follow the following tips to avoid negative comparisons:

1. Focus on yourself: When we are thinking about other people, and what they have that we don’t, we are wasting time that we could invest in ourselves. So, instead of wasting these moments with others start taking these moments to focus on oneself
2. Accept where you are: You can’t change something you don’t recognize or even despise. So instead of resisting or looking at yourself from a position of negativity, try to accept your situation so you can change it.
3. Free yourself from your past: Even if your life has been full of bumps, everyone has made mistakes in their past. Remember that everything that has happened to you has helped you become who you are now. So, embrace your story and be proud of all you have accomplished.
4. Detox from social media: On the one hand, social media can be a great source of inspiration. But, when these trigger constant comparisons with unreal photos and videos of others, it is important to try to stop it as soon as possible.
5. Be grateful for what you have: If instead of focus on what you don’t have, You focus on what you do have, you will always end up improving as a person. Thus, it is essential to shift focus from what you don’t have to what you do have.
6. Don’t let fear guide you: People who are constantly comparing themselves to others may end up making decisions because of the fear they feel about ‘failing’ in front of others. In these cases, instead of relying on what others will think, you should try to do what you really want for yourself.
7. Remember that no one is perfect: Trying to achieve perfection is not the solution to achieve be well with oneself So instead of criticizing yourself for your flaws, quirks, and imperfections, try to accept them without denying yourself the ability to work on improving them.
8. Turn comparison into inspiration: Rather compare yourself to others just in an instant, that is, focusing on their success, try using this comparison to think about the thousands of hours they will have spent preparing and working to achieve it. So, try to change the sadness that these comparisons can lead you to and start working on what you can be, do and have thanks to effort and motivation.
9. Compare yourself with yourself: If you need to compare yourself to someone, it’s always with you. In case that the comparisons If others hurt you, try to compare your past self with your current self: What have you done to improve? What can you do today to be the best version of yourself?
10. Name your inner critic: One of the ways to downplay things is to name them. Therefore, if your inner voice is always critical and negative towards you, try to name it. In this way, you will be more aware of how these thoughts influence you and you will begin to treat yourself better.
11. Practice self-care: If you are going through a time in which your self-esteem is not where you would like, it is important that you focus on yourself. Taking time to take care of your mind and body, as well as going to a professional psychologist if you need it, will make you start to compare yourself less with others because you will be satisfied with yourself.

Many times, compare yourself with others It often makes people feel frustrated, anxious, and paralyzed from moving forward. These sensations do not usually help create the life we ​​really want. On the contrary, they often take away valuable time and energy that we could have spent building our future. When we focus on others, we often give them the power of our lives, which ends up causing us to live not for ourselves but for others. Stop giving power to others and start by focusing on yourself.