The way people communicate determines our interpersonal relationships Maintaining good communication with the people around us is essential when it comes to having healthy relationships, feeling good with others and with ourselves.
In this sense, the fact of presenting one communication style or another determines our way of being in the world and relating to others.
There are mainly four communication styles that can be used verbally and non-verbally.
1. Passive communication
Passive communication is one in which the person does not report their needs, desires, opinions It is characterized by being an ambiguous communication, without clear messages and in which the person does not express what he really thinks. It can denote insecurity and low self-esteem.
On the other hand, people who communicate passively tend to be complacent with others, find it difficult to maintain eye contact, and are often unable to say “no.” People with this communication style do not usually respond to situations that bother or sadden them, accumulating discomfort.
Once they can no longer bear this discomfort, They may explode and behave in ways that make them feel guilty or ashamed afterwards
Common phrases: “I don’t know…”, “I guess,” “it’s okay.”
2. Aggressive communication
This style of communication is characterized by the imposition of ideas and opinions above others. The egocentric posture of those who use this style of communication stands out and therefore not respecting the feelings and needs of others
It is usually a one-way communication style, where opinions are expressed in a demanding and threatening way. People with this communication style usually have a tense and authoritarian posture, with a raised tone of voice. They also tend to frequently interrupt the other person.
This type of communication can have negative consequences for the person. For example, in the world of work and in social relationships it can trigger conflicts and rejection from others, distancing yourself. Likewise, aggressive communication can lead to emotional alterations characterized by helplessness, anger or frustration.
Common phrases: “you should…”, “you should…”, “that’s not like that.”
3. Passive-aggressive communication
As the name suggests, It is a combination of the two previous styles Passive-aggressive people are characterized by not being direct, that is, they use indirect ways of saying what they think. They avoid resolving the conflict directly with the specific person and will turn to other people to alleviate their discomfort. Your non-verbal language may not correspond to your verbal language. For example, they may give dirty looks, but not express that they are upset.
4. Assertive communication
Stable and firm voice. It does not denote insecurity, and the person remains firm in the message he wants to convey. The person talks about their feelings and needs honestly and openly. She appears calm and her body posture is calm. It is not characterized by recriminating the other, it usually focuses on how the person himself has experienced the situation, how you have felt and how you would like it to be. Unlike aggressive communication, it is a two-way style, where the other person is taken into account.
Common phrases: “What do you think?” “I think that…” “I want…”.
To do?
Depending on each person’s circumstances and learning history, there may be a tendency to present one communication style or another. However, this is not an impediment to training an appropriate communication style that promotes the development of healthy personal, work or family relationships.
From professional psychological support such as that offered by PsicoAlmería, therapies are used aimed at improve both the assertive communication style and improve different social skills By working on these techniques we will achieve an increase in self-esteem.
Furthermore, to work on assertive communication there are different tools that can be used both in the personal and work spheres. An assertive person:
These steps can be shown with An example any. Imagine that your partner or roommate always leaves their slippers lying around the living room. It’s something that bothers you, since you like to have your house tidy. One day you come home and trip over your sneakers. You get angry and wait for your partner to get home to reproach him or her that she always does the same thing, that she is neglected, or that you are fed up. In the end, you end up arguing and stop talking for a few days.
Using the same situation, imagine that once this person comes home from work, you decide to talk to him/her.
First, you describe the situation objectively: “I came home and tripped over your sneakers that were in the living room.” Then you say how you feel: “It bothered me, since I don’t like seeing the living room messy” and finally the request is made: “Could you not leave your slippers in the living room, please?” Following these steps does not ensure that the sneakers will not be back in the living room tomorrow, but at least a conflict derived from poor communication is avoided.
In short, to have healthy relationships, assertiveness is essential, knowing how to say what we think honestly and respectfully with others The help of a psychologist can be of great help to change these communication styles that move away from assertiveness.
Therefore, if you identify with any of these communication styles, you can seek the help of a professional, such as psychologists at PsychoAlmería both online and in person, which will provide you with the necessary tools to have assertive communication.
