What are the causes of hatred towards ourselves? Why do I hate my life and myself? Discover the reason behind this feeling of rejection and how to deal with it.
Do you often have the thought: ‘I hate myself‘? If you have this feeling of rejection towards yourself, it is normal for you to feel frustrated because of it. Self-hatred is not only a sign that something is wrong with us, but it can also indicate a mental health problem. Faced with this self-hatred, it is important to start working to leave these feelings and thoughts behind. But why does it happen and how can we avoid it?
‘I hate myself‘: Signs of this feeling of rejection
It is normal that when faced with a bad day we can be frustrated or negative towards ourselves. But when he hate oneself becomes a routine, there are a series of revealing behaviors that may indicate that we are facing a problem that we must solve:
All or nothing thinking: People with hate themselves They tend to have dichotomous thinking, that is, they see themselves and life in black or white, there are no nuances in their judgments. Thus, if they make a mistake, they usually feel either that everything is ruined or that they are a failure.
They focus on the negative: Even if they are having a good day, these people have a tendency to focus on the bad things that happened to them or what went wrong. In this way, the self-deprecation It doesn’t stop even on good days.
Emotional reasoning: They take their feelings as facts. That is, if they notice that they feel bad or like a failure, then they assume that these feelings must reflect the truth of the situation and that, in fact, this is reality.
Low self-esteem: Generally people who they usually hate themselves They often feel like they don’t measure up when compared to other people.
Seek approval: He self-deprecation It also makes them try to find external approval from others in order to validate their self-esteem. That is, your opinion about yourself changes depending on how the people around you evaluate you.
They do not accept compliments: He self hate It also implies not being assertive. Therefore, if someone tells you something good about them, they usually dismiss these compliments.
They try to fit in: You always find that you feel like an outsider in groups, which means you are always trying to fit in with others. In these cases the hate oneself It translates into a feeling that others don’t like them either.
Take criticism personally: He reject and despise oneself It also implies not having the ability to take criticism well.
Self-criticism: If they make a mistake, it is very difficult for them to forgive themselves. It is also possible that these people regret things he did in the past or what he failed to do.
cynical point of view: This feeling of rejection It is not only towards oneself. In this way, they also hate the world where they live, having a very negative perspective on life.
These are some of the attitudes that could indicate that you live with a constant self-deprecation In these cases, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist to solve this hatred of life and yourself.
Causes of self-hatred
If these attitudes or behaviors sound too familiar to you, you are probably wondering what causes self-hatred. In this case, we must emphasize that not all people who They hate their life and themselves They have the same reasons because each life experience has been different. Even so, the first step is to reflect on the reasons and start taking action on the matter.
Negative inner critic: If you constantly think ‘I hate myself ‘, chances are you have negative self-talk where you’re always putting yourself down. This critical voice could make you compare yourself to others or tell you that you are not good enough. In these cases, the critical inner voice is usually related to the negative experiences in our lives. For example, poor treatment received by parents during childhood, bullying by peers, or even the result of a bad love or friendship relationship.
Childhood experiences: The relationship with parents or first experiences at school can also mark a pattern of negative thinking towards oneself. These types of more negative experiences can end up causing people to have self-hatred or hate their life because of it.
Bad relationships: Not all negative self-talk is due to our childhood experiences. In some cases, toxic or negative relationships can also influence you to experience this self-deprecation. These relationships can be anything from a friendship, a couple to a co-worker.
Bullying or harassment: People who have been victims of bullying or harassment at school or at work may also end up feeling this way. hatred towards oneself In fact, if you have flashbacks of seemingly insignificant events with stalkers from your past or present, the experience may have had a lasting effect on your mind.
Traumatic events: Trauma can also cause people to begin to hate oneself or life in general.
Mental health conditions: A feeling of rejection and self-hatred It can also be the result of mental disorders such as depression or anxiety. In fact, these two disorders can cause symptoms such as hopelessness, guilt, and shame, making people feel bad about themselves.
Beyond the causes of hate towards oneself it is important to understand how having this type of relationship with ourselves can harm us. In fact, this hatred can affect the following:
You may stop trying to do things because you feel like they will only end badly.
You may engage in self-destructive behavior such as using substances, overeating, or isolating yourself.
You could sabotage your own efforts or not take care of yourself.
You may unknowingly choose people who are bad influences or who will take advantage of you, such as toxic friends or partners.
You may struggle with low self-confidence and low self-esteem.
You may have trouble making decisions and feel like you need others to guide you when you become paralyzed in indecision.
You may have a perfectionist tendency and find it difficult to get things done.
You may worry excessively about everyday problems or your future.
You find it difficult to believe good things about yourself and feel that others are just being nice or manipulative when they compliment you.
You may not be able to pursue your goals and dreams and feel stuck.
You may doubt your abilities and what you can achieve.
You may see the future as very bleak and without positive expectations.
You may feel like you don’t belong anywhere and can never fit in.
In many cases at hate oneself People can end up self-sabotaging, which can lead to experiencing more negativity. Thus, as long as you remain in this cycle of self-hatred, it will be difficult for you to move forward.
If you are looking to overcome the hatred towards oneself there are several things you can do to break this cycle:
Keep a diary: Keeping a journal can help you focus on the positive aspects of your daily life. In addition, it also allows you to examine the situations, as well as the patterns that trigger this negative internal dialogue.
Talk to your inner critic: Try to identify negative thoughts and question them, that is, ask yourself questions about whether your thoughts are realistic or whether you are engaging in distorted thinking.
Practice self-compassion: This means trying to see situations from another perspective, that is, seeing the good things you have achieved and ending with a black or white thought.
Practice meditation: hate or self-hatred They are usually the result of a bad mental habit of giving too much weight to certain negative situations. Through meditation people can begin to regulate their thoughts, that is, to identify them and be able to reason with them.
Go to therapy: If you believe that this type of hatred may be the result of a mental disorder such as depression or anxiety, it is important that you go to a mental health professional to be able to rectify this relationship with yourself.
Learn to leave this feeling of rejection towards ourselves is the first step to begin to value ourselves more and feel more capable of having a life more in line with what we really want. The relationship with ourselves is the key to starting to improve both inside and out.
