The consequences of showing an excessively demanding and critical attitude towards our children are very negative. Insecurity, stress, low self-esteem are some of them.
Raising children is a complex stage. Parents must teach them the path to follow in life, the necessary guidelines and tools so that they learn to act on their own, always with respect, common sense and responsibility.
That should be one of our main missions. But sometimes we want their performances, academic performance, and behavior to be perfect. We do not admit cracks or errors. And instead of letting them make mistakes and learn from their mistakes, we question and criticize their decisions, demanding near perfection in everything: grades, friends, clothes, etc.
There has been talk on many occasions about the so-called “toxic parents” who use manipulation, demands and abuse to achieve their goals and always remain above their own children. While it is true that excessive criticism by itself is not a symptom of a “toxic parent”, but rather a defect that we often commit, perhaps without being aware of it, it is no less true that the consequences of this excessively demanding attitude and criticism towards our children, are equally negative. Insecurity, low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, phobias or depression can be some of the emotional disorders that we can relate to our behavior if we are hypercritical or extremely demanding parents
In fact, a recent study conducted by the American Psychological Association points out that an overly critical attitude towards our children can even prevent an improvement in symptoms in those minors who suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), an improvement that usually occurs with the arrival of adolescence.
A first step is don’t lose motivation If parents are extremely demanding with their children’s academic performance or negatively value their behavior or way of dressing, they must try to ensure that this does not affect their self-esteem. Although it is difficult, we must ensure that interests, tastes or motivations are not altered by negative criticism from parents. You have to try reinforce self-esteem and act confidently even when said interests are different from those of the parents.
It is interesting to try promote communication and dialogue, involving parents in the problems they have and the difficulties they have to face so that they understand that they are not yet mature enough for a certain challenge or are not qualified to carry it out. We must also talk about tastes and motivations, and how important it is that they are respected
Likewise, it is advisable to consider the negative aspects of criticism, how it makes you feel, how it deteriorates self-esteem drawing attention to how necessary it is to receive support and congratulations for the achievements achieved, to the importance of also highlighting the positive aspects, not just the negative ones, and the effort is also valued
Lastly, it must defend the need to make mistakes, to make mistakes And, far from criticizing, it is in those moments when it is essential to receive understanding and, of course, it also helps.
