Is Loneliness possible in the hyperconnected society? Is it real that this evil is shaking our society in a worrying way?
Nowadays everything is focused on facilitating accessibility to communication and exchange between people However, for the WHO, loneliness is one of the greatest current risks for health deterioration, due to its implications in multiple facets of our lives that influence a deterioration in the quality and life expectancy.
There are countries committed to tackling this type of problem, such as the United Kingdom, which has created a Ministry for Loneliness (headed by Minister Tracy Crouch), or Japan, which, due to the “Kodokushi phenomenon”, sees a large number of people die. alone in their homes, so their government decided to create housing complexes with specialized care.
You may be permanently connected to social networks, you often meet up with friends, your agenda is full of social activities… or you may isolate yourself at home. These extremes that seem so different are actually two sides of the same coin that of the loss of connection.
If you feel like you are not connected to others, you will surely feel alone; You will notice that no one understands you or that you do not understand others, that everyone approaches out of interest, that love is not real, that relating to other people does not make sense or that you have to get something out of it to that it is worth it for you to relate to someone.
How we relate to others is usually a reflection of what we have inside of us In this case, we have somehow lost connection with our feelings; Maybe we have broken up on purpose or managed to silence that inner pain, and by stopping listening to it it is as if we numbed our hearts and became more insensitive or cold.
But These invisible barriers that keep you from yourself and others are a protection This weapon is often too sophisticated and is refined to offer greater protection. What works at first, later makes you fall into the trap of isolating yourself in one way or another; At first you will feel alone, and over time you will stop enjoying many things, mainly on a social level, so you will cut off contact, reduce it or leave it on a superficial level. Overall, you feel alone all the same. shape.
The consequences of this phenomenon on our relationships
On the one hand we are social beings, and on the other we are defenseless beings in need of protection until we grow up. Definitely, We all need healthy, safe, stable ties in our group of belonging
If we do not have this, we will lack a foundation of trust that will cause dependency, superficial or harmful relationships with their consequences. Between them distrust is common but seen as something very deep that can be nesting inside us and blocking our path even without us realizing it.
This will not allow us to love ourselves as we deserve, and it can do us a disservice; from losing connection with ourselves to losing it with our feelings, which would be like stopping communicating with a part of us. Or even later lose connection with others and feel life from afar or off, as if even good things stopped making us vibrate.
This can cause you to become cold; In situations like this you don’t want to feel your pain and that of others even less It also causes you to lose connection with your deepest feelings. But your emptiness will still be there and you will try to cover it or solve it, although that will not be enough.
So we run the risk of becoming self-destructive begging for crumbs of love… And perhaps the most notable characteristic, we become distrustful and with a perception of what relationships are a little or quite dysfunctional.
How is the connection generated?
The lowest common denominator of connection is communication According to scientific studies carried out in this regard, the first bond we form outside the womb is through contact and then looking at those who tend to be our caregivers. We share this with many other mammals, and it allows us to communicate beyond all verbal communication: it is “I know you are there, I see you, I recognize you and we are close, you count on me, we are part of something together.”
Thus we can understand a link as a deeper connection, and deduce that To generate a connection, even if it is more superfluous, just a look or a touch is enough For example, love at first sight, as in stories or movies, is based on stories that deeply penetrate our way of understanding love and that push us to idealize what an attractive appearance can achieve, “true love.” .
It is easier for this spark to arise with people similar to us, where there is an innate component of understanding, empathy or recognition of the other person when perceiving similarities, which makes us trust more or connect better with the other person. But it is also created by knowing the other person, sharing experiences with them… In short, Communication on a real, deeper level creates connection
Thus, the experience of not being or feeling connected to others, as we are seeing, can be evidenced in various ways on a daily basis. Some will be more visible, such as not having people around, and others can mask this same reality, such as being surrounded by people often or having many friends on Instagram.
For emotionally manage these situations reconnect with the world:
¡Accept that it is not better not to risk, because when you stop feeling you stop living ! There are no bad feelings, only real ones; listen to what they have to tell you, connect.
