6 Signs To Detect Emotional Dependence In Friendships
Personal relationships in which there is an emotional connection are always as stimulating as they are, in many cases, complex when it comes to managing them. This is especially noticeable in family relationships, relationships, and dealing with best friends; What happens in them has a great impact on our lives, both for good and bad.
In this sense, one of the characteristics of these relationships that makes them more complicated is that the boundary between oneself and the other person can become very blurred. How do we know, for example, when we behave in a way thinking about that person’s interests, and when we do it for our own interests?
It is this dynamic of “going beyond oneself” that causes some of these relationships to generate dynamics of emotional dependence, which is problematic and gives rise to various forms of discomfort. Therefore, in this article we will talk about the main characteristics of emotional dependence in friendship relationships.
Signs that indicate the existence of pathological attachment
A friendship relationship can take a turn towards emotional dependence without either of the two people involved being aware of it. Therefore, it is important to stop and think about the extent to which common habits, ways of making decisions and the way in which conflicts between the two are managed are beneficial for both.
Here you will find a brief list of warning signs that help recognize emotional dependence in friendship bonds Keep in mind that not all of them have to be fulfilled to be faced with a case of a problematic relationship with a friend.
1. One of the people gives up making choices that affect both of them.
One of the problematic dynamics of emotionally dependent friendships is that the person in a submissive role assumes that they will not decide anything relevant in that relationship It is an idea that is internalized spontaneously and unconsciously or semi-consciously, without the need for it to be expressed.
2. One of the two people is afraid of the simple idea of conflict with the other
Conflict avoidance is one of the distinctive characteristics of those who have developed emotional dependence. Try by all means not to upset or make the other person angry which means always giving in and not using correct assertiveness by saying what is important and that should be said.
3. The search for validation takes up a good part of your free time
The emotionally dependent person You sacrifice a good part of your free time to make your friend feel good in that relationship Sometimes, even if that person is not present, he spends too much time making “just in case” preparations.
4. The thought of the other person unilaterally breaking off the friendship terrifies one of the friends.
Emotional dependence is also reflected in situations in which anticipatory anxiety arises at the idea that the other person will decide to break up that friendship due to any setback. On the other hand, in healthy friendships, The fact that both parties are respected acts as a mechanism that provides stability to the relationship
5. Insults or other types of attacks are normalized
In some friendships, insults are used in the context of jokes and play between those with a similar sense of humor. However, in friendship relationships in which there is emotional dependence, One of the parties can use real insults (due to their content and context) and the other sees it as something normal, to be expected
6. It is normal for this friendship to generate conflicts with one’s own family
Due to all the problematic relationship elements that we have seen and that appear in friendships with emotional dependence, it is common for the fathers, mothers and siblings of the party that suffers the most to get involved to try to make things change, either by ending that friendship or causing it to change radically.
In this situations, The dependent person assumes “by default” that his or her family is wrong by not being “inside” that relationship and not understanding it, so that he or she systematically sides with his or her friend.
Related article: “Family therapy: types and forms of application”
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