Most people could feel happy with what they have, but their thoughts prevent them from doing so.
You probably have a bed to sleep in, food, friends, family, etc. And despite this on many occasions we feel miserable this feeling is not usually objective, it is usually the result of us focusing more on what we lack and not enjoying what we do have.
If we lived in less of a hurry to get what we want, we would realize that we have almost everything. To further complicate our existence, thoughts play tricks on us, since many of these they are irrational, these are not real situations, they are what we are imagining. Next we are going to develop each type of distorted thinking and you will realize that you are familiar with it;
1. All or nothing / always or never thinking
It’s a perfectionist type thinking, is not a realistic thought, since throughout the day we have countless stumbles (we drop our coffee, we get into a traffic jam…). It is impossible for everything to go well or everything to go wrong, so we should not give more importance than it really has, not all setbacks are falls.
2. Mental filter
It’s a type of thinking which is characterized by giving more importance to negative events than to positive ones. It is as if we were wearing glasses that only allow us to see only the negative aspects, so eventually our attention becomes distorted and we are not able to see reality objectively. For example, if we pass three exams, but fail one, we will think that we are experiencing a misfortune or that we have failed, downplaying the importance of the three that we have passed.
It is a thought through which people stop enjoying life and positive things, since they transform them into something negative. For example, if someone gives them a compliment they tend to think that it is not real or that it is not deserved and that there is a negative reason behind.
4. Fortune Teller’s Error
It consists ofanticipate negative events, assuming that these are going to come true. This anticipatory thought modifies the individual’s attention and that is why these “self-prophecies” tend to come true because the thought is reaffirmed and in the end he did not perform that action. For example, I’m sure my boyfriend doesn’t love me and is thinking about leaving me, for this reason I become rude and argue with him, so my boyfriend ends up leaving me because of my attitude, I reaffirm the idea that I was right and I was leaving. to leave and my “self-prophecy” comes true. Another type of thought that falls into this category is believing that you know what another person is thinking about you in a negative way, we assume that it is true without verifying it. For example, when you are introduced to a person at an unexpected moment when you were not as dressed up as usual, you assume that the other person is thinking that you are a disaster, that you are very poorly dressed, and that they have no interest in me. .
5. Emotional reasoning
HE characterized by interpreting that my mood is for a real and objective reason, without corresponding to the real situation, it is just an emotion. For example, when saying goodbye after a date with the person I like, I return home with anxiety and feelings of shame, so I assume that since I feel this way, the date went badly.
These types of thoughts cause the person to interpret the world as a endless list of obligations s, which leads you to feel frustration and anxiety. In reality these “obligations” are always preferences, for example I do not have the obligation to go to work, but I prefer to go to work than be left without a salary. If we practice changing these “shoulds” or “haves” for prefers, we would realize that it is not so difficult for us to do so.
7. Labeling
This error is about people building your own self-concept or the concept of others as a result of their mistakes and weaknesses, and these labels carry a negative emotional charge. For example, if I stumbled today, even though it is not normal, I label myself from now on as useless or clumsy.
8. Personalization
This type of thinking It makes people ultimately guilty or responsible for the acts and feelings of others and themselves. For example, if my partner is depressed or overwhelmed, it is because I am a bad wife or I have not known how to make him happy.
These types of thinking errors are present in practically all people, but they can be learn to modify this thought pattern, which will make us much happier, because many unhappinesses are the result of our thoughts.
