You just have to look around to understand that what confinement may have meant for some families, it has not meant for others.
When any of us asked people around us “how are you doing?”, we knew that their answers would not have to be the same as our experience, our perception of the same situation.
One of the implications of this is that, in some cases, The coronavirus crisis may have overlapped with the revival of family crises
Good coexistence or worsening of family problems?
Without a doubt, the lack of space in the houses, attending to professional chores while accompanying our sons and daughters in class assignments, missing being able to do outdoor activities, seeing other people, the fear of contagion. .. they have tested us during this crisis from which we have not yet emerged. Adults and children have been able to go through an emotional roller coaster in which emotions such as fear, discouragement or worry have been present at many times.
However, some can say with satisfaction, pride, and why not, surprise, that they have handled it well, that they have found themselves quite calm, that they are comfortable in this new normal of teleworking and being with the children at home. And some even say that far from being saturated, from being in constant conflict with the inhabitants of the home, They can verbalize that they have been strengthened in their family and relationship relationships
Thus, a scenario arises in which fathers and mothers have known how to understand and accompany the emotional regulation of their sons and daughters, where they have participated in the organization of the house, understanding the importance of teamwork, where they have known how to respect the times and needs, family activities have been enjoyed, where we have not been in a hurry, distractions, or where we have been able to enjoy time together… Without a doubt, in cases like this the family will have been perceived as a place of security and comfort , a warm space where you can feel sheltered from the crisis outside.
In this scenario, the family is made up of elements of the same system that rotate in harmony independently but coordinated, that belong, contribute and mean within that system.
However, others, a not inconsiderable number of people, have experienced this situation with pain, sadness, discouragement, anger and even despair, since it has been possible to highlight even more the difficulties that the family was already going through.
Definitely, not being able to physically be in a conflict-free environment, not being able to be distracted by other activities not being with people with whom you do feel a connection, not being able to disconnect from family members, has meant having to do without the external positive reinforcers that served as a lever to alleviate a difficult family life.
And if you have not perceived calm, tranquility, support or affection from the people you live with, confinement has surely been an extremely difficult moment that will surely continue to this day. has left an emotional mark
We have forcibly stopped many daily processes and activities that were on automatic, and now we are at the moment of recovering, with prudence and safety, the new normality. And in it, do we want to incorporate differentiating elements from our previous normality?
Let’s think about whether, in this stage we are entering, we want to focus on making our dynamics at home different from the previous one: that we feel cared for, loved, cared for and respected by the people we live with, that conflict decreases, that we know transmit our needs, that we know how to set limits, that we know how to ask for help, listen… that we build a common space, with differentiated moments and joint moments, where we can feel calm and well-being.
Family therapy and the potential hidden behind coexistence crises
The word “crisis” means opportunity, and for families this could be it! It may be a good time to understand the advantages of family therapy, so let’s look at some of them
1. An opportunity for honest dialogue
Therapy is a space for meeting, communicating, being able to speak, learning to listen, where the figure of the therapist accompanies in the decoding of what is said and what is not said
2. A context in which to express yourself without fear
Enable emotional expression without judgment from listening and respect, since each person experiences the situation in “their own way.”
3. Facilitates understanding of the problem
It does this from a 360-degree vision that allows us to optimize the search for satisfactory solutions for all parties.
4. Points of agreement and construction of common objectives emerge
The individual and collective needs of the family are revealed.
5. Communication and social skills are developed
In family therapy you acquire communication skills that allow you to express opinions, feelings, expectations, requests effectively and respectfully.
6. It allows you to understand the role that each member of the family is playing
And, from there, design and adjust the most convenient functions, attitudes and behaviors so that family dynamics flow.
7. A type of family identity is created
It is a good place to define the identity of the family, based on what values it is built, and it is encouraged that members are clear about how they can contribute to this.
Conclusion
For all these reasons described, because of the importance of the family for human beings, and because of what individual and collective well-being can mean for better coexistence, we encourage families to begin a process of family therapy.