Do you know what the consequences of bullying are? Do you think that the effects of bullying do not go beyond childhood or adolescence? Discover how bullying affects us in our lives.
Despite how serious the fact of being bullied can be, there are still many people who think that this is an exaggeration, that children are cruel and mean to their peers, and they happily ask the following question: Who has not suffered bullying? little bullying in childhood, who hasn’t been given an awkward nickname, left out, or had their sandwich stolen? In this way, bullying normalizes and naturalizes something that is neither normal nor natural. In many cases, there are certain consequences of bullying which we will see below.
What are the causes of bullying?
Children are not bad by nature or cruel. The only thing that is different from adults is that they have not yet developed enough empathy, and therefore, they focus on meeting their needs regardless of how that may affect their peers. For example, if a child in the park wants a swing, she will run to get on it, regardless of whether there is another child swinging on it, which will surely end up generating a conflict. It is the adult’s task, and only the adult’s, to teach a minimum of standards of behavior and help them take into account the needs and desires of others. If this is not done, the child could be a future bully.
The victims of bullying They have a tremendously bad time, they somatize to the point of having real gastrointestinal pain or even develop food intolerances, they do not want to go to school, their academic performance decreases or, on the contrary, they focus so much on academics that they do nothing else, they cry every day of week, their self-esteem drops, they take a submissive position and the worst of all is that they often do not verbalize their suffering to anyone, reaching catastrophic extremes such as suicide in some cases. Many people think that the solution is to change schools, and in part it is, the bullying may stop occurring (or not). However, the damage has already been done, and the consequences can be carried into adulthood no matter how much a change in social environment is made.
In many cases the bullying It has consequences for adult life. So much so that on many occasions the victims of bullying have certain damage to their psychology. In this way, in the exploration of childhood and adolescence, situations of bullying often appear and it is surprising how the person verbalizes it (even though they are already in adult life and have experienced a lot of it) with shame and pain. Many times it is difficult for them to explain specific events that they experienced or nicknames that have caused them serious complexes that they carry to this day.
What are the main consequences of bullying in adult life?
There are certain effects of bullying that have an impact on the psyche of the people who have suffered it. So much so that a victim of bullying can suffer the following.
Low self-esteem
One of the bullying consequences The main thing is the low self-esteem that occurs in these cases. Most victims of bullying (if not all) are people who do not value or love themselves enough. They consider themselves ugly, fat, they feel ashamed of some part of their body that they consider disproportionate (even if it is not like that), they refuse to wear glasses or their hair in a certain way, they have had cosmetic surgeries, or they feel incapable. , little deserving of affection and appreciation or not very valid in general.
Inhibition and/or mistrust towards others
The defense mechanism when suffering bullying It is usually social isolation. The person feels totally alone and learns that you cannot trust anyone because anyone can harm you. In adult life this mechanism that functions as a defensive wall has become stronger. They tend to be people who, although they interact socially, avoid talking about any more personal or intimate aspect and hide their problems from others. In this way, a victim of bullying ends up being a person who manages their problems in a self-sufficient way and if they cannot do so they block themselves, but do not seek help from anyone for fear of possible betrayal.
Lack of social skills
The social isolation suffered in childhood means that they have not faced enough social situations, so there may be clumsiness when it comes to relating. So much so that one of the consequences of cyberbullying or bullying is that people who have suffered it seem peculiar or strange, have a somewhat particular sense of humor and can be easily offended by any joke that is made. They are also extremely sensitive to criticism, feeling every little detail as a big complaint and getting very offended. They may seem clumsy when it comes to having conversations, giving praise, meeting new people, etc.
Conflict avoidance
How the self-esteem of victims of childhood bullying is low and they usually feel inferior to others or of little worth, they are usually people who avoid conflict at all costs and therefore, they do not usually give their opinion unless it is strictly necessary or express a complaint. In many cases, one of the consequences of bullying is precisely the person’s lack of ability to establish limits towards others.
Appearance of certain psychological disorders
That backpack that carries all these bullying consequences In adult life, it can bring out psychological difficulties such as social phobia, eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, agoraphobia, depression and mood disorders or generalized anxiety.
If you have been victim of bullying in childhood and you consider that it has affected how you and your personality are, you don’t have to settle. Ask for professional help to overcome this stage and change aspects of the way you function in the present that would make you feel better.
How to overcome the consequences of bullying?
In order to overcome the effects of bullying that have an impact on adult life, it is essential to try to know ourselves and work within ourselves. According to psychologists, we can follow the following advice.
1. Recognize bullying from your past
On many occasions people suffer all the bullying consequences during maturity because they do not recognize or give importance to what they suffered in childhood or adolescence. This is due to the shame or guilt they feel toward themselves because of the effects of bullying. One of the first steps to cleanse your insides is precisely to recognize that you were a victim of bullying.
2. Regain control of your mind
People who have suffered causes of bullying They tend to have pessimistic thinking. In this way, it is essential to try to control the negative thoughts that invade the mind in these cases. Therefore, you must change the negativity in your mind to take control of your life.
3. Recognize your value and worth
Working on your self-esteem will be essential to combat all the effects of bullying Confidence and security are undermined when a person suffers from bullying by children when they are little. Therefore, you must fight your insecurities and build your self-esteem again.
4. Avoid isolating yourself
The excess of criticism experienced during childhood can cause one of the bullying consequences It is precisely trying to isolate yourself from all other people. In this way, it is very common to suffer from social anxiety in adulthood for people who have suffered from bullying. It is vital to try to combat these sensations and get out of the comfort zone in order to leave social isolation behind.
5. Analyze the trauma
One of the consequences of bullying They are traumas that end up harming the mental health of the person who has suffered it. It is essential to try to analyze what caused the trauma or the experience that originated it in order to treat it from the current perspective. Seeing that we can only have control of the present will help us combat these feelings about ourselves.
6. Change your way of thinking
Obsessive thoughts often take mental control of people who have suffered the effects of bullying In many cases, in order to leave behind the consequences of cyberbullying or bullying, it is essential to try to reflect on the negative thoughts we have about ourselves.
7. Learn to value yourself
He bullying and its consequences They come a lot from trying to give more value to what they think of us than to what we really are. Therefore, we can try to overcome these bad feelings about ourselves by leaving behind what people think of us and valuing ourselves by our own values.
In most of bullying cases People require the help of a psychology professional to be able to face these sensations. Despite this, it is vital to try to make an effort and cultivate our inner self to overcome all the consequences behind bullying. This way we can be the best version of ourselves.