In the following interview, the therapists from the personal growth workshops at the Mensalus Psychological and Psychiatric Assistance Institute share with us “Fears”, a short animation by Nata Metlukh that, in an intelligent way, shows us the essence of fears and their constructive meaning
A short film to understand fears
First of all, you can watch the short:
Does living without fear unprotect us?
It’s curious. We reject fear but, in reality, we need it to live. As we have seen in the video, fear is a protection system. Understanding the constructive meaning of fear helps us empathize with it and listen to it instead of rejecting it and even fearing it. In fact, when we do not understand its meaning, fear grows and becomes our worst enemy.
When we talk about fear we rarely think of a “protection system”, we usually understand fear as a limitation. For this reason, the phrase “living in fear” as society interprets it, is rejected, no one wants it. Now, avoiding fear leads to the appearance of other symptoms that function as a warning mechanism: when we do not listen to it, it looks for a way to manifest itself.
That said, if instead of talking about fear we refer to “constructive fear”, things change. This is when “living in fear” can become another richer and more complete concept that we do accept: “living with a fear that protects us but does not limit us.”
Do we understand then that we should not avoid fear?
Exact. Fear, like other emotions, contains a message that we cannot reject. Otherwise, fear of fear is generated and negative thoughts grow to the point of transforming the primary thought and emotion into a system full of catastrophisms and totalisms (“everything is going to go wrong for me”/”I will be a failure”/” I’ll never be able”).
As Luis Muiño says: “Fear protects us from danger and, at the same time, limits our lives. Being happy consists of losing the fear of fear and managing this emotion in a way that allows us to be cautious but allows us to live freely.”
When we talk about limitation we are referring to fear that does not invite reflection but rather stops decision and action. Unconstructive fear can seriously hinder our goals. The well-known book and video titled “You dare to dream” precisely talks about how, many times, fear overcomes motivation (they function as opposing forces) and, that first step that would help us get out of a comfort zone, remains in forgetting because of “what if it doesn’t work out”.
Of course, overcoming “the fear of fear” is not an easy task; it requires training in positive-realistic thinking as a result of contact with our achievements. The recognition of capabilities makes it easier for us to value what we can gain instead of focusing attention on what we can lose. Along these same lines, Matti Hemmi explains: “Your attitude, your beliefs and your fears are geared in your brain and you are not going to be able to change overnight.” In fact, what I invite you to do is not to change but to develop.”
Developing ourselves as people who are not “afraid of fear” and who understand fear as a constructive element is a very intelligent vision.
What is the difference between change and development?
Development is growth, increase, advancement, progress, advancement, improvement, etc.
When we talk about development it implies the word change, but referring to this first term is especially functional. Talking about development invites us to think that we are the same person we were at the beginning but richer for having integrated different elements.
Understanding personal growth as development makes it easier for the individual to understand that what they need may not be out there, but is the result of internal work related to putting order and structure to thoughts and emotions (the result of one’s own experience and the inheritance received. ).
“Fears” is a video that has been worked on in personal growth workshops. Specifically, the workshop “Where you are and where you want to go” has been presented to help its participants understand which fears limit them and which protect them. In what other ways can we work on constructive fear?
Constructive fear, the one that stops us in the face of danger and invites us to think functionally, can be worked on through self-knowledge exercises, exercises that promote messages related to who we are and how we perceive the world. To do this, the psychotherapist is responsible for guiding the discovery of “the voice of constructive fear” with interviews, narrative techniques, illustrated stories and experiential exercises, among others.
The result of this type of dynamics is greater contact with the discourse of functional fear. Ultimately, the goal is to listen to it, understand it and accept it
Acceptance is the key point that “allows us to allow ourselves”, pardon the redundancy. I, you, him and we all feel fear, it is a natural and necessary emotion, it is an essential element to adapt to the environment and for the environment to adapt to us. Working on resistance (thoughts that do not allow) is another of the fundamental tasks to make our beliefs more flexible and facilitate the understanding of fear.
