How Coexistence Problems Are Worked on in Couples Therapy

The problems of living together as a couple! A complex topic, huh? However, sometimes, they are much more complicated in your head than they really are.

No matter how perfect a couple looks on Instagram, none of them are free from the problems of coexistence. Many manage to survive them successfully, while others remain stuck, as if it were an endless loop. Do you know what the difference is? The way in which these problems are addressed and the willingness of each of the parties to solve as a team.

When addressing these problems between two seems uphill, Couples therapy appears as a good alternative to solve these difficulties from an external perspective. Next, we will see what this process is like!

What is couples therapy for?

Let’s start with a very common example as a couple. Let’s give them names: let’s say we’re talking about Manuel and Antonio. They have been married for 5 years and, although the first year was quite a honeymoon, they have already had problems for a year that they don’t know how to solve.

Manuel is a fairly reserved person and, for fear of not knowing how to communicate his emotions, fearing that they will be poorly received, he has carried a discomfort for a long time: Antonio’s poor financial management. This instability was taking its toll on the relationship without anyone realizing it.

At first it didn’t seem like a problem; If Antonio couldn’t contribute enough for the market, services or other household matters, Manuel took care of everything. Little by little, he felt the weight on his shoulders until he couldn’t take it anymore. At any given moment, he vented all his rage against Antonio and yelled at him over a seemingly insignificant matter.

From the inside, Antonio could think that Manuel “went crazy” from one day to the next, since the small incident was not that big of a deal. Manuel will surely feel guilty for losing his temper without yet being able to explain that the straw that broke the camel’s back was not the cause of his discomfort.

Sometimes, being in a relationship, it is difficult to see the root of the problems head on. And it is even more difficult to know how to solve them, especially when we have not been taught to explore our emotions and express them assertively in order to find a joint solution.

This is where the figure of a couples therapist becomes important. If both parties in the relationship agree, a therapist specialized in the area will serve as an observer, a listener free of judgment and a provider of tools so that the couple learns to communicate better and solve their problems with respect and love. that initially united them.

What problems are addressed in couples therapy?

When we talk about coexistence problems, we are talking about those challenges that appear when sharing life with someone; in this case, with your partner. Some of the most common are:

Couples therapy or individual therapy? Which one to choose?

Deciding between couples therapy or individual therapy depends on what each situation demands. For example, if you feel that your relationship conflicts are tied to personal issues, such as your own insecurities or emotional difficulties, it may be more helpful to explore individual therapy first. This will help you work on yourself to contribute positively to the couple’s dynamic.

On the other hand, couples therapy is ideal when problems directly affect the relationship and need to be addressed together. This includes situations such as ineffective communication patterns, recurring conflicts, or a mutually perceived emotional distance.

Something important to consider is that it’s not always about choosing one over the other. There are cases where a combined approach may be most beneficial. For example, If both partners have personal issues that are interfering with the relationship, working in individual therapy and then addressing common problems as a couple can be an effective strategy.

Now, important! There are some cases in which couples therapy is not recommended. For example: if one of the parties does not want to commit to the process, if there has been physical or emotional violence, if one of the two has decided to divorce, etc.

What is the work process like in couples therapy?

Work in couples therapy does not happen randomly or “as it happens.” In fact, it is divided into several stages that help address coexistence problems in an orderly manner. This is how it usually develops:

1. Starts with an evaluation stage

The first sessions are to understand what is happening. The therapist listens to each person, knows the history of the relationship and the expectations they have. It is a key moment to identify what patterns are generating conflicts.

2. Goals are established

Once it is clear what is failing, concrete goals are established. For example, learning to communicate better or finding healthier ways to handle disagreements. Having a defined direction helps both of you work in the same direction.

3. The psychotherapist intervenes with his tools

During the sessions, the therapist will give you practical strategies. This may include exercises to improve communication, practice resolving conflicts, or activities that foster empathy and mutual understanding.

4. Evolution is evaluated

As they progress, a review of progress is made. If something is not working, the plan is adjusted so that it remains useful and relevant.

5. Keys are provided to prepare for the future

The idea is that eventually the couple can solve their conflicts without needing outside help, which is why, when they have already achieved the main goals, they work on consolidating what they have learned.

Do you see the importance of couples therapy to resolve coexistence problems? But, be careful, the success of therapy does not depend only on the therapist. It is important that both commit to actively participate, reflect on their own attitudes and apply what they learn outside of the sessions. It’s a team effort.