How to Deal with Disturbing Emotions with Mindfulness

One of the main components that are part of a large proportion of therapeutic processes becomes managing emotions especially those that negatively destabilize us or those that have an unpleasant connotation such as anger, worry (fear) or sadness.

A basic principle in the psychological work of emotions is learning both their identification, their management and their expression in an adaptive way. The opposite processes, that is, repression or avoidance usually lead to the appearance of significant discomfort in the medium and long term. In this sense, and especially When faced with disturbing emotions, it is useful to resort to Mindfulness or Mindfulness, to manage them.

Identification of disturbing emotions

One of the main objectives in achieving stability and emotional well-being involves dealing with the feelings that are generated after the cognitive experience of a specific situation, processing them in a rational and realistic way and, finally, issuing a response of acceptance and adequate assimilation of said situation. discomfort. As Simón (2011) defends, a fundamental process in achieving this objective lies in “calming the mind and seeing clearly.”

It seems necessary to train oneself in “disidentifying” with the intense emotion experienced at a certain moment in order to to be able to analyze it with greater perspective and greater clarity

One of the most recognized theories on how emotions are produced was the one proposed by James-Lange at the end of the 19th century, from which the hypothesis was established that the physiological changes produced in the body are transmitted by the autonomic nervous system. towards the cerebral cortex and derived from it, emotions arise. Thus, these authors opposed the initial theoretical principle that defended that emotions are the cause of physiological change. For James-Lange, the individual does not cry because he or she is sad, but rather he or she is sorry because he or she cries.

Subsequently, the Cannon-Bard approach at the beginning of the 20th century achieved a greater consensus regarding the physiological explanation of emotions postulating that both the bodily reaction and the emotion occur simultaneously and are interdependent. In this way, the idea began to be accepted as valid that a fundamental factor in the identification of emotions becomes the analysis of the physiological reaction that a person emits when faced with a specific experience.

On the other hand, from the most current approaches to the construct of emotional intelligence, it is understood that there is a bidirectional relationship between emotions and thoughts. That is, both influence each other, which is why another essential element to observe consists of the type of cognitions that a person generates when interpreting a specific experience

Coping with disturbing emotions

Simón (2011), an expert in the area of ​​Mindfulness techniques, has proposed a set of seven steps, whose components can be altered in their order or appearance, which can serve as guide in coping with emotions that are difficult to manage either because of its intensity or its depth:

1. Stop

Stop doing what you have in hand (an action, a conversation, etc.), interrupting the disturbing instinctive emotional reaction that has derived from a specific event.

2. Breathe deeply

Taking 5 breaths from the diaphragm respecting the 5-8 cycle (5 seconds of inspiration and 8 of expiration).

3. Become aware of emotion and body changes

Is about Identify what emotions are occurring and the thoughts that accompany them to the emotion, as well as whether they are accompanied by a behavioral intention (a behavioral response).

4. Accept the experience

From the active and conscious experience of the emotion, a series of phases of aversion, curiosity, tolerance, permission and friendship towards the emotion in question occur.

5. Self-pity

It consists of giving affection and love to oneself, instead of making judgments of guilt or anger for example, having felt said disturbing emotion.

6. Let go

This step involves differentiating the emotion from the “I”, disidentification, to let go of said feeling.

7. Decide to act or not to act

Do this depending on the circumstances of the situation, evaluating the benefits and drawbacks to issue a response at that time.

Acceptance or conformity?

Possibly, in relation to the guide set out above, one of the most complex phases corresponds to point four: the acceptance of the disturbing emotion. At this point a fundamental distinction must be made between this concept and that of conformity or resignation.

Firstly, one of the biggest discrepancies between both constructs is the absence of judgments, criticisms and evaluations of the experience of the emotion of acceptance. To do this, the first step is get rid of so-called cognitive labels the qualifying adjectives that label the emotion as disturbing in order to eliminate expectations or descriptive prejudices of said emotional experience.

It is, therefore, about perform a DOWN-UP type of mental processing of said feeling, where the person focuses their concentration on living the experience as if it were the first time, exploring the sensations and perceptions without classifying them, without evaluating them. In this way, the person changes their relationship with the experience of the emotion in question, ceasing to be a relationship with a negative or unpleasant meaning. This ultimately makes it easier for the person to disengage from the emotion without getting caught up in it.

Another relevant point is the active nature that acceptance presents, as opposed to the passive nature that is attributed to resignation or conformity In the first case, the person makes the conscious decision to experience emotions and thoughts with full attention, voluntarily and actively.

Finally, within the previous fourth point of Simón’s guide, the following five moments occur from which the individual manages to make the change in the relationship with his disturbing emotion feasible:

In conclusion

One of the most useful applications of Mindfulness or Full Attention techniques has a close relationship with the competence in Emotional Intelligence specifically in the process of identification, management and expression of emotions that can cause discomfort.

The guide offered above can be a useful strategy for modify how we relate to our emotions and we go from seeing them as something unpleasant to avoid or ignore to understanding them as necessary and beneficial processes for one’s own psychological well-being. These types of practices can bring us closer to greater acceptance of this type of emotions, greatly reducing the negative connotation that we could a priori give them.