Sometimes, the time that elapses between a couple breakup and the start of a new relationship It is so brief that, in a situation of this type, a person may wonder if their new partner is really ready to get involved in a new story or if this relationship is a hobby to forget the past. At PsychologyFor we answer this question: How do I know if he is using me to forget his ex? The answer to this question may hurt depending on the case, however, the truth is essential to continue moving forward in that relationship or, on the contrary, choose the breakup as a therapeutic measure to avoid further suffering and for each person to continue with their life.
He continues to maintain contact with his ex This is not the definitive sign in itself but what is truly determining is whether your partner shows some type of nostalgia or hope for that story. The frequency of contact or whether your partner also asks other mutual friends about their ex can give you the key to finding the answer. But, above all, it is your own intuition that can give you the key.
He compares you to his ex Maybe he doesn’t do it consciously, but on more than one occasion you have felt this way. That is, you feel that you are not the person who occupies your partner’s present, but that the ghost of the past makes an appearance at any moment. By comparing yourself to your ex, you do not feel like a unique and unrepeatable person for your partner, but rather constantly in the shadow of that yesterday. And you don’t like this because you feel that your partner doesn’t give you the space you deserve.
He doesn’t make future plans with you because his current philosophy of life is that you have to live in the present. And he turns this message into a literal sign not to get involved in the relationship and, therefore, avoids committing. Since his word to you only has the value of that moment. Tomorrow everything can change.
You give much more than you receive and this wears you out on a psychological level because there is no reciprocity in the balance of affections. You show more interest in getting to know him and being known, you have a greater desire to share quality time together, and yet, you notice the shortcomings of a relationship that causes chronic dissatisfaction.
You feel used and not loved just as you are. This is one of the keys to knowing if you are being a hobby to forget your ex: How do you feel in this story? How does that person make you feel? Do you feel used on numerous occasions? Reflect on it to find the answer.
His name escapes him Maybe, at some point, his own unconscious will betray him and address you with his ex’s name. This may be more common if the breakup is very recent.
Avoid your family or friends When a person uses you to forget his ex, not only does he not want to get involved in the future of this relationship but, for the same reason, he does not want his close family and friends to really know you. In this way, the relationship transforms into an impersonal bond when time passes and you are still in the same chapter.
But… how do you know if he uses you to forget his ex? Take stock of your relationship and if you identify several of these points, it is very possible that what is happening is that that person is not getting involved in the relationship as you would like because their heart has not yet turned the page from a previous chapter.
In this other article we give you tips so that you know how to recognize if a person is telling you the truth.
What to do if your partner uses you to forget his ex
Talk to your partner, face the situation honestly to tell them what you observe and how this situation makes you feel. Approach the conversation in a assertive tone, avoiding reproaches Remember that sometimes these things just happen. That is, it does not mean that that person is consciously using you, but rather that he or she may simply be deceiving themselves.
Think about yourself and your well-being If you want to fight for a love story but you don’t receive the same reciprocity, you are going to suffer. For this reason, a farewell is therapeutic so that everyone can continue with their life.
Furthermore, you not only have to pay attention to that person’s words, but also to their actions. Since he may express many nice messages to you, however, his actions tell you the opposite.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if he uses me to forget his ex we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
