How To Know If I Have An Obsession With Someone: 4 Warning Signs
Affective relationships are based on caring about another person so feeling that we like someone so much that our attention tends to focus on them is natural.
However, sometimes that attraction goes beyond what can be considered positive for mental health. That’s why many people wonder… How do I know if I have an obsession with someone?
Let’s see what are the signs or symptoms that an unhealthy emotional bond is developing that makes us dependent on the attention and affection of another person.
Obsession with a person manifests itself in many different ways, and all of them are associated with cognitive (distorted thoughts and beliefs) and emotional symptoms. Let’s see what those typical symptoms are that arise on these occasions.
1. Everything reminds you of her
In falling in love, it is normal that many of the things we see remind us of the loved person, but in cases where someone is obsessed with another person, these associations between the stimulus and the memory (normally, images of the person by the that we feel attraction) are more extravagant.
Because of this ease in establishing relationships between what we see and the image of the other person, practically everything reminds us of them, which makes our daily life revolve around it
Someone who is obsessed with another person does not necessarily seek to attract their attention, since this depends a lot on the type of personality they have and the level of self-esteem they have (someone who does not value themselves will possibly be afraid of exposing their imperfections to that person). subject for whom you feel attraction).
However, what usually happens is that an intense desire to be close to her appears, sometimes even if you are not aware of it. This last situation can cause the privacy of the person who generates attraction to be compromised, by having someone who follows them closely both physically and virtually, through new technologies and specifically through the Internet.
In the most extreme cases in which there is harassment, it may even be that the person being followed considers himself in danger when he perceives that there is someone who interferes too much in his life or that he may even receive physical attacks; Regardless of whether this occurs or not, it is a deterioration in your quality of life that generates suffering from the first moment.
3. Frustration
Normally, those who are obsessed with a person suffer because their expectations of being with that person are not satisfied by reality. This is because in most cases someone who has entered into that emotional dynamic demands a degree of involvement in the relationship that few people are willing to offer Even in love relationships.
This makes her feel a certain level of anguish, not because of whether the other person will agree to interact more with her in the future, but because of the present situation, which is perceived as a stage of stagnation. On the one hand, all that matters is being with that person; On the other hand, this “project” does not progress much.
As we have seen, obsession usually leads to frustration. As a consequence, it is very common to fantasize about an alternative reality in which everything is much better and the relationship progresses.
These fantasies are recurring and they do not arise just before falling asleep but in many moments of free time when there is not much to do.
To do?
So far we have seen the symptoms that indicate that you may have an obsession with another person, but… what can you do about it? How to deal with this psychological phenomenon?
The first thing to keep in mind is that the other person’s decisions always prevail over their life, and therefore we cannot treat them as if they were someone without the ability to manage their own day to day life. If you have chosen not to get involved in a relationship as we would like, we have to accept it, and if that makes us very uncomfortable, it is best to cut off contact completely.
On the other hand, in cases in which having a certain contact with the person with whom we feel obsessed is not a problem, we must know that a good part of these cases of obsession They are usually due to excessive idealization
Analyzing the imperfections she presents (or that we could interpret as such in any other person) is useful, but, of course, we should not offend her by confronting her with these facts.
