When we feel that we are no longer happy, that we are not comfortable with the life situation we find ourselves in, we should not resign ourselves, we have to take control of the situation and find a way to start over and be happy.
There are different strategies that can be useful to carry out this process, but it is also important to know what does not work. So, in this article we will talk about the decision to make a change and start over in life from scratch how to deal with it and what strategies can be useful to achieve it.
We know that life may not be easy, it is a path with ups and downs, a journey in which it is possible that we find a dead end street, a point where we cannot or do not want to advance further and we must change paths to continue. forward. We do not have to resign ourselves, and as much as we may be afraid to leave our current life, we must consider it as an action to improve.
Uncertainty, not knowing what can happen, causes us fear, and can lead us to stop striving to reach our goals for fear of what may come When we are no longer comfortable with our life situation, when we are no longer happy or we realize that we have made a mistake, rectifying and changing is the only option that can help us regain well-being.
Strategies to start over in life
Once we have decided to change, start over, We can help ourselves with some psychological strategies to facilitate the process As we have already seen, change is not easy, and even more so if it is linked to a factor as important as what we want to do with our lives. Let’s see what advice we can follow to make this beginning as positive as possible.
1. Accept the change
Although it seems logical and obvious, sometimes it is not so simple and we must work on ourselves to be able to accept change It may happen that an opposition arises in our mind between wanting to change and the fear of doing so, thus a defense can be activated that causes self-sabotage of the change itself. For this reason, it is necessary that we first dedicate time to accepting what we want and what we are going to change, keeping in mind that we are going to begin a process that is complex and difficult.
When it comes to a change as important as starting over in life, we should not be in a hurry to take action; We will try not to do it impulsively We will carry out this reflection with reference to aspects of the past, present and future. For the change to be for the better and to achieve our purposes, we have to assess what things from the past we want to modify and do differently, what factors of the present we do not want are repeated, and how to face the future we want to achieve and the goals we set out to achieve.
3. Positive approach
Although it may seem like the typical advice to see life in a positive way, it can help us value the process in which we find ourselves in a positive way, since, although it does not assure us that things will go well, our state to face them will be. better, making it easier to overcome adversity. Likewise, see the past, the bad experiences or mistakes we have made, as events that have allowed us to learn, It also favors change and being better with oneself
There are facts that if we could we would erase them from our lives, but since this is impossible, the best thing we can do is accept them and make the most of them, which will serve as a reminder, a warning, so that the same thing does not happen again.
4. Reconcile with your past
In order to make progress and for the change to be favorable, it is first necessary that we reconcile with everything that happened in the past. We may have made mistakes, we may have experienced bad moments, events that had an impact on our state, but to promote the improvement of our quality of life We cannot simply act as if nothing had happened and deny what happened, it is necessary to work, accept and relocate what happened to be able to continue living without it affecting us. Facing and forgiving what happened is the only way to overcome it.
5. Set realistic goals
In order to stay motivated and continue moving forward, especially at the beginning, when the fear is most intense, it helps us to see that the small steps we take are positive and rewarded. For this reason, We must try to make the objectives we set, especially those that are short-term, realistic and possible to promote progress, reduce fear and confirm that the decision to change we have made is appropriate.
Life is not always easy, making it likely that we will make mistakes; We must be aware of this and accept that It is a normal event that can happen and that we can take advantage of as a way of learning Forgiving ourselves for mistakes made and keeping in mind that we can make mistakes again without this resulting in failure, facilitates a better state of self and our environment.
You may be interested: “How to learn from mistakes: 9 effective tips”
7. Take your time
All the processes that we have mentioned up to the moment of accepting, reflecting and reconciling need to be dedicated to time, we cannot expect to start from scratch and for everything to happen correctly or for us to feel comfortable from the first moment. We will need a period of time to assimilate what is happening and the modifications that are taking place For this reason, it is important to give ourselves a period of adaptation and not try to run or go faster if we do not feel comfortable. For example, whatever your project is, make the objectives to achieve easier during the first days.
8. The benefits of social support
Feeling supported by the people we love is essential, not only in situations of change but at any time in our lives. Even though you must make the change and it is your decision to choose how to do it or what path you want to start, advice, opinions and ultimately social support will make the process less difficult without having to go through it alone.
9. Stay away from the bad
Starting over does not always have to mean breaking up with our entire past, there may be aspects or people that do benefit us and with whom we do not want to break up. But we must also be aware of what does cause us harm, and it is necessary that we move away if we really want there to be a change and for it to be positive. Avoid situations that bring out the worst in you or put you back in the self of the past or people who do not look out for your well-being, who judge your previous performances or do not allow you to progress
10. Take charge of your life
We have already pointed out that you must be the one who accepts and makes the change, so you have to be the one who is convinced of it and wants to do it. The fast-paced life in which we find ourselves immersed sometimes does not allow us to act as we want or we allow ourselves to be influenced by other people, allowing time to pass without really doing what we want and without feeling good.
In the end, you are the only one responsible for your decisions. For this reason, try to make these your choice, even if you later realize that you have made a mistake. It is better to take a risk by making your own decision that you are convinced of, than to live following the decisions of others.
11. Be flexible
Flexibility is one of the most important skills to progress and adapt to both what happens outside us and what we feel inside. In order to accept and make change and start from scratch, it is essential to be flexible; If not, we will always live stuck in the past without being able to start a new life
It is fine and necessary to have a plan or, as we have said, some set objectives that we want to achieve, but if we see that the strategy used is not functional, we cannot remain fixed in that mode of behavior. We must vary and try another way of facing the situation, another path. We may need to change on more than one occasion.
13. Express how you feel
In the same way that it is favorable to maintain social relationships and feel supported, it is good to express how we feel in the process of change. We are starting a new life with the uncertainty and difficulties that this entails, so communicating and externalizing how we feel will help us to be more aware of it, organize ourselves and let off steam.
Related article: “Emotional labeling: what it is and what it is for in psychotherapy”
14. Trust yourself
You are the one who must direct and choose which path you want to take and follow Therefore, it is important that you trust yourself and that even though, as we have already said, you may make mistakes, you never lose confidence in yourself.
15. Don’t hesitate to ask for help
If you feel overwhelmed by the situation, you feel lost, without knowing what direction to take, how to proceed, Don’t hesitate to ask a psychotherapy professional for help In the end, starting a new life involves many changes that, as we have said, generate uncertainty and make us afraid, so having the support of a trained person who can give us useful strategies for our particular case is very helpful.
