Mini Guide To Getting Through A Relationship Breakup
The breakup of a relationship can be thought of as a wave that breaks in while we are calmly enjoying the sea. Some surprise us, and others we see coming from afar.
In a couple, there are times when the atmosphere becomes more tense, like a turbulent sea, disagreements and discomfort begin, which is why we think of it as a wave that unpredictably passes through us. But Once the relationship has broken down, there are some strategies that help us get through that complicated stage
Keys to getting through the bad times after the breakup of a relationship
Below I leave some recommendations on how to go through this wave that we feel is taking us from one moment to the next, so that we can surf it with greater conviction, going through the discomfort effectively and facing that emotional crisis with resilience.
1. Lean on your closest ties
When we don’t know how to swim, being in the sea alone is not the same as being accompanied. That’s why it can be of great help to us. Identify at least three people to seek support from talking when we feel alone, or distracting ourselves by doing some activity together.
2. Strengthens and strengthens other bonds of friendship or couple
When we end a relationship, all the attention we had placed on the other person turns towards ourselves, and it feels like a void that we don’t know how to fill, and that usually generates a lot of anguish.
Many times, allocating this attention that we dedicated to a single person to new people can help us surf the wave. This is why it can help us to identify at least three links that we would like to strengthen or strengthen from now on, they may be friends, family, or people we do not know as well, but with whom we believe we could build a friendship if we give them time and attention
3. Try new things, distract yourself, learn a new activity
If we are in the middle of the sea and we don’t know how to swim, it can help us to enter with a board, floats, elements that help us feel safer In a relationship breakup, it is also necessary to have certain elements that help us cope without the wave taking us down.
This is why it is important to identify some activities that we could do to distract ourselves in the moments when we start to think about how much we miss or love that person. They can be new activities, such as a sport or hobbies that we have always wanted to try or try, or things that we enjoy doing from home, such as making a delicious meal, watching a movie, sitting in the sun, sharing time with your pet, among other.
While we are at sea, and we see that a wave is coming, our emotions may increase in intensity, to seek to protect ourselves, this leads us to have some “extreme” or “catastrophic” thoughts, generally, these thoughts include words like “ everything”, “always”, “nothing”, “never”, “everyone”, “nobody”.
Catastrophic thoughts lead us to see events in a distorted way We all have these types of thoughts when we are faced with an intense emotion. The important thing is to be able to identify them and think about the situation in a way that is more in line with reality, which, in turn, will help us feel calmer. A very helpful resource is to identify “catastrophic” thoughts that come to our mind when we feel sad or afraid due to the breakup of a relationship.
5. Find an alternative to your catastrophic thoughts
After having identified these dysfunctional thoughts, what we need is to look for an alternative that is more in line with reality for these thoughts, a thought that helps us feel better by thinking about the situation in this way For example, if we had thought “I will never find someone like me”, an alternative more in line with the facts would be “I already went through this, and I found someone again” / “I can meet someone else who I like and who loves me.” ”.
6. Remember that the pain will pass
When the wave that crossed us in the sea passes, we are disheveled, tired, and after a while we come back to our feet and be the same as we were before the wave crossed us. Although the pain of losing the person we loved is something that lasts only a while, many times we may see it as something endless. It is important that you remember that every emotion and every crisis is temporary
Going through a breakup is a painful situation for anyone; However, the more resources and tools we incorporate during the course of grieving, the better prepared we will be to continue rebuilding our lives.
