Nonviolent Communication: The 10 Characteristics That Define It
Communication is a complex process; Even for people who speak the same language it can be difficult to understand each other.
This is because when we express our ideas, thoughts or emotions orally or in writing, we are aware of what we want to express, and not what others may understand.
In this article we will talk about non-violent communication we will give some techniques to improve our communication and be more assertive when we express our thoughts.
non-violent communication It mainly corresponds to the degree of empathy established between people The higher the empathic level of the subject, the less violence will be in her communication style.
Quite the opposite occurs when it comes to subjects who are not very empathetic, who are incapable of putting themselves in the other person’s shoes and do not perceive the discomfort that their words can cause in other people.
Below we will see some techniques to promote the assertive communication style in ourselves and in others.
1. Recognize our emotions
The more aware we are of how we feel at a given moment the more able we will be to avoid violent communication
Sometimes when we are upset, we tend to say things that we later regret. So, if we are able to recognize our discomfort, we will also be able to avoid expressing opinions or words that are violent and have the capacity to harm others.
What is recommended is keep quiet and go to a place where we can think clearly and then express our opinions in a calm and assertive manner.
2. Put ourselves in the place of others
When we are ready to express ourselves we should always take into account the particular situation in which other people find themselves in relation to one’s own point of view.
In other words, let’s avoid touching on sensitive topics for others in a light way; We must remember that for the other it is a delicate matter, which mobilizes them emotionally. It is also important to bet on assertiveness when communicating something that may cause discomfort to the other, without assuming that they will take it badly, so as not to generate the phenomenon known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
3. Practice assertive communication
We have already mentioned this aspect, now let’s see what it is about. Assertive communication consists of express our ideas and emotions in a clear way so that the interlocutor does not have to make too much effort to understand what we are trying to tell him, because our messages are clear.
This prevents misunderstandings resulting from misinterpretation on the part of the other person.
4. Implement active listening
In the communication process it is not only important to express so is interpreting the message that comes from the other person.
In the case of verbal communication we must always listen carefully to what our sender tells us. By doing this we will be able to better understand the message they are trying to give us, and the response we will give will then be more accurate regarding the topic discussed.
5. Know how to reconsider our opinions
There is nothing wrong with reconsidering an opinion that at first seemed appropriate to us and after listening to the other person’s argument we realize that we were wrong.
Learn to agree with others It leads us to a better collective understanding, and makes us more empathetic people
No one is the owner of absolute reason, that is why we must be careful not to fall into radicalism, otherwise we become prone to being violent people in all aspects.
6. Be informed
This point refers to the fact that when we do not have enough information on a topic, we could end up issuing opinions that are unreasonable. It is better to make sure that we know the subject in depth before giving any sensitive opinion.
Misinformation only contributes to generating rumors and wrong opinion matrices that can do a lot of harm both individually and collectively.
7. The speech must be consistent with the actions
As we saw previously, communication is a complex process, which is not only verbal or written. An important part of communication involves our behavior and our non-verbal communication.
It is important to make sure that our words are in line with what we do It is not healthy for us to express some ideas and then do the opposite in practice, not to mention that this can generate personal conflicts with others.
Many times it can happen that even though we practice assertive and non-violent communication, situations arise where other people want to provoke us, trying to make us lose control of ourselves and act in the same way that they act.
When this happens, It is best to avoid getting into a long discussion with these people It is important to remember that we are not obliged to always respond to everyone, sometimes it is better to remain silent knowing that in this way we avoid a greater conflict.
9. Surround ourselves with people who practice a language of peace
In the same way that each of us influences the collective, the collective also influences us That is why it is important to surround ourselves with people who are on the same page as us, avoiding conflictive people benefits us greatly, and in many aspects.
10. Do not pose blackmail
True nonviolent communication is unconditional, it is not based on the idea that the interaction will flow harmoniously and respectfully as long as the other person does what you want. Only in this way is a communication context created in which there are power asymmetries.
