Something Broke: Post-infidelity Stress Disorder

Post-infidelity stress disorder

The same scientific articles that talk about the neurological and psychological effects resulting from infidelity in romantic relationships open with experiences simply of horror on the part of those who lived them.

It is no stranger to almost all people that infidelity leaves deep emotional wounds that are difficult to suture. Curiously, when searching for scientific information on the biological impacts associated with this topic, one finds minimal availability of studies to review.

Many mental health professionals could be minimizing the impact of people being exposed to infidelity.

The psychological impact of infidelity

The breaking of agreements or any other scenario related to the abrupt loss of trust in the couple It is an issue to which most of us have been exposed at some point, even lending itself to being considered part of life’s teachings.

However, the minimization of the issue by specialists may be due to various factors. Among them, a poor focus on current social realities, such as social networks, the collective consciousness about what is disposable, etc.

A brief study on infidelity carried out in Mexico by the INEGI (used by several newspapers on the occasion of February 14, of course) found very discrete differences in the general rate of infidelity between men and women in a sample of the Mexico City. However, these minimal differences should not overlook the high rates of violence (published by the same source) that occur in the emotional relationships of Mexican couples.

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What is Post-Infidelity Stress?

The term “Post-Infidelity Stress” is relatively new (coined in 2005 by Ortman and collaborators) and alludes to the similarities between the emotional consequences of infidelity and post-traumatic stress disorder (a mental health condition related to exposure to severe traumatic events).

This not-so-new term makes visible a series of conditions in the individual related to life situations that occur relatively frequently (Up to 58% of those surveyed in a study done by DIVE, a dating app, consider infidelity as a natural phenomenon).

In post-traumatic stress disorder, the subject has been exposed to events that put his or her life, physical integrity, or that of someone else at risk. This triggers intense emotional and physical reactions that human beings are not entirely ready to deal with.

These situations They leave deep emotional imprints on people. Such that up to 8% of the exposed population will require specialized treatment. Apparently, a similar phenomenon occurs when a person is subject to infidelity on the part of a partner. Be they stories, images or any more or less explicit (and of course non-consensual) disturbing content.

The emotional reactions resulting from infidelity, could have characteristics similar to those caused by post-traumatic stress. These emotional phenomena are given by the natural reactions of our brain to danger.

Post-infidelity stress

emotional memory

Memories are usually stored in a brain area called the hippocampus, which practically keeps our memories in order so that they can be used for learning in the long term.

However, when faced with dangerous scenarios (such as finding out that our partner has been unfaithful), another brain area called the amygdala (one of the reactive fear centers) It is activated to trigger our fight or flight functions when faced with threats. This phenomenon, although natural, can be dysfunctional and trigger guilt, constant fear, difficulties remembering the event, etc.

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A person’s emotional defenses may not be enough to deal with the scenario. The accumulation of physical reactions (although natural) also further complicates this context, so that some people who experience these events may develop persistent fears of the infidelity being repeated, keeping them hyper-alert in future relationships. It is not uncommon for a patient to also report experiencing nightmares or intense physical reactions when talking about the topic or suspecting that the situation will repeat itself with a new partner.

How do you intervene in psychotherapy when faced with these problems?

Research on this phenomenon has aroused interest in some specialists who have already developed therapeutic mechanisms to treat the sometimes negative effects of infidelity on people. Cognitive-behavioral and schema approaches not only promise improvement according to scientific evidence, but also promote education for people to prevent relapses in situations that raise alert again.

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Specialists must raise awareness about the relevance of this topic and warn of the psychological and biological effects of being exposed in a traumatizing way to infidelity, so that we can design strategies together with our patients that allow us to face these situations in a healthier way. .

Author: Dr Octavio Gascón – Medical specialist in mental health and cognitive psychotherapy.