The 10 Pillars For Perfect Non-verbal Communication
The key to being able to connect well with others is to go far beyond words: you have to know how to use good non-verbal communication. And, although we may not realize it, we always communicate with the whole body, not only through letters, words and phrases.
The posture we use, the gestures, the expression on our face… all of that speaks about who we are and what we are feeling, whether we want it or not. Now, we can use this fact to our advantage, or let it betray us by sending the wrong message.
Below we will review the keys to using non-verbal communication in the best possible way
It must be taken into account that communication It is long before the appearance of language Throughout the evolution of the species that our ancestors have gone through, gestural communication was a tool without which it would have been impossible to pass information to others about one’s own intentions, what is happening in the environment, the presence of dangers, etc.
When language appeared, the transmission of information became more precise, but the importance of non-verbal communication was still there, since it was the pillar on which the use of words and sentences had been built
Thus, we have evolved to express feelings and emotions through the entire body, and a good part of the effectiveness of this form of communication is that much of it is unconscious, being so natural. Sometimes it is difficult for us to find the words to express what we think, but the same does not happen with gestures: we use them spontaneously.
The basics of perfect non-verbal language
Controlling the way in which bodies communicate, both to know more about others and to transmit information about ourselves that interests us, is something that It can be achieved with practice and knowing some theoretical aspects You can see the latter below:
1. Control your feet
Many times we pay a lot of attention to how we gesture with our hands and how our interlocutor does it, but if we look down a little we will find another of the key pieces of non-verbal communication: the placement of the legs and feet
And where they are pointing tells us a lot about what the person’s intentions are. As a general rule, the place where the tips are pointing indicates what the objective is. For example, if they are placed diagonally and do not “face” the place where the person they are talking to is, they probably want to avoid that conversation.
2. Adapt to what the other does
Adopting a posture and style of gestures similar to those of the other person makes it easier to connect with them.
However, avoid “copying” those parts of non-verbal communication that indicate distancing or hostility, focus on others (for example, depending on each case, rhythm with which you gesture, degree of head tilt, etc.). In this way, the other person will identify more with us.
To facilitate the emergence of a fluid relationship with someone, ensure that non-verbal communication expresses the idea of relaxation and tranquility. This is achieved by maintaining an open posture, with relaxed muscles and without keeping the limbs close to the trunk.
4. Use the power of your gaze
Controlling your gaze well allows you to regulate dynamics of kindness or domination. In this way it is possible to put a lot of emphasis on what is said, or give a moment for the other person to express their ideas without fear Furthermore, paying attention to it allows us to detect some basic emotions.
5. Contact with oneself reveals information
Touching some parts of your own body tells us a lot about how you feel. Many gestures that are based on touching parts of the face like the mouth or nose, are a sign of protection and defensiveness, a sign that there is something in the environment that produces tension.
6. Look at the spaces
Non-verbal communication not only consists of gestures and movements, but also the space that people maintain around them. This aspect of non-verbal communication is called proxemics
Paying attention to these spaces and knowing how to control them indicates who feels more vulnerable and who feels so powerful that they invade the territory of others.
7. Maintain consistency
It is very important not to generate ambiguities in what you express through non-verbal communication That is why it is necessary that your body does not send contradictory signals. If you want to convey tranquility, do it with your whole body: do not relax your face muscles while contracting your biceps to bring your arms closer to the front of your body.
Smiles have a very important social role, since they allow us to create moments of harmony and camaraderie. However, many times they are used for commitment, and this is something that you should be able to detect to know the person’s state of mind.
To know if a smile has been sincere, just analyze whether crow’s feet have appeared on the sides of the eyes, the leaves have lowered a little and the teeth are showing. If these signs do not appear, the smile is fake.
9. Use active listening
It is important to send signals that you are paying attention to what the other person is saying This is called active listening, and it is based on the idea that you must give constant feedback about the impressions that the information that the interlocutor reveals to you is giving you. Nodding, for example, or signaling approval with other parts of the body (without interrupting the other’s speech) is essential.
10. Discard sudden movements
Quick, dry movements denote nervousness and lack of control. Avoid them to allow the other person to trust you more and open up more.
The importance of practice
Many of the keys to controlling non-verbal communication are learned much better when, starting from some theoretical foundations, we begin to put them into practice. Each person and situation is unique, and that is why it is sometimes difficult to recognize the styles in which each person expresses those non-verbal communication patterns exposed here.
Therefore, practicing and “training” in real time is essential to become skilled in the art of mastering the communication of bodies.
