It seems quite reasonable to affirm that, in the field of romantic or passionate love, we can find as many stories or relationships as there are people in the world. And, as they say, each person (and in this case, relationship) is a world.
This was confirmed by the American psychologist Robert J. Sternberg through his clinical couples therapy sessions, thanks to which he realized a classification that grouped up to 26 couple stories (Couple relationships). In this article we will learn about the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg, as well as their most relevant characteristics.
The 26 couple stories according to Robert J. Sternberg
The American Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg (1949, New Jersey, United States) is a great researcher of the subject of love as well as the author of the triangular theory of love.
Based on his clinical experience in couples therapy, Sternberg described up to 5 large groups of couple stories (couple relationships), which are:
In turn, these 5 groups are made up of the 26 couple stories according to Sternberg. After reading them, you may ask yourself: Which one would you identify with? Do you know couples from different groups in the classification? Do you think they are very different from each other?
1. Asymmetric stories
In the first of the 5 couple stories according to Sternberg we find an asymmetry as the basis of the relationship. Within asymmetric stories, Sternberg defines 6 subtypes of them, which are:
It is a type of relationship where one teaches, and the other learns.
1.2. Sacrifice
Another type of asymmetric story, where one sacrifices himself, while the other is the beneficiary
1.3. Government
In a “government” type relationship, according to Sternberg, power is the fundamental theme, which is exercised in an autocratic, democratic or anarchic way.
1.4. Police
In this relationship, metaphorically, one is the police officer, while the other is the suspect. It is based on “all-nothing” thinking
1.5. Pornographic
It is a type of degrading relationship, where one acts as the object, and the other as the subject.
1.6. Terror
In this other type of couple stories according to Sternberg one is the victim while the other terrorizes
2. Object stories
In the second group of couple stories according to Sternberg we find the object stories. Its central characteristic is that here the person or relationship is valued for its function as objects and not for itself. These types of stories, in turn, are divided into two:
2.1. Person as object
Here one of the members of the couple is considered the object of the other This type of relationship, in turn, is divided into three more:
2.2. Relationship as an object
In the second type of object stories, we find a type of relationship where the relationship itself is the object for one or both members of the couple In turn, these can be of four different types:
3. Coordination stories
In this type of couple stories according to Sternberg, members work to create, do, or maintain something These are generally healthy relationships. As subtypes of it we find:
It is based on the idea that love is a journey, and the couple works together to choose and reach their common destination. The relationship is understood as a change, as maturation and constant discovery.
3.2. Sew and knit
In this type of relationship, the couple weaves or sews the basis of their relationship, together Here love is what we seek to create.
3.3. Garden
The next type of couple stories according to Sternberg is a type of relationship that emphasizes its care
3.4. Business
Here the emphasis is on economy and the division of functions.
3.5. Addiction
The context of the relationship is a context of dependence essential for the life of the couple with phrases like “I can’t live without…”.
4. Narrative stories
In the next type of couple stories according to Sternberg, narrative stories, there is an indicative norm within the relationship, of the path to follow. Narrative stories, in turn, are divided into:
4.1. Fantastic
It is about the “ideal” couple, like a story, based on values like those hidden behind the story of the “prince and princess”
4.2. Historical
In the historical couple, the present is defined by the past, that is, the conservation of objects and photos takes priority, great importance is given to anniversaries and designated dates, etc.
4.3. Scientific
In history or scientific relationship, a logical and rational analysis of the relationship can be carried out. The relationship, furthermore, is governed by principles and formulas.
4.4. Cook Book
Finally, in the “cookbook” story, there is a recipe for having a successful relationship, which has to do with how to act and the “ingredients” of the relationship
In the last of the large groups of couple stories according to Sternberg, the way of being in the relationship matters more, and not so much the content. It is divided into four types:
5.1. war
In the war relationship, what matters is being “at war”: arguing, fighting, etc. It doesn’t matter what you fight about, what matters is that fighting becomes an incentive for both members of the couple.
5.2. Theatrical
In theatrical stories, What matters is that everyone plays a role, regardless of the role played
5.3. Humor
In the following couple’s stories according to Sternberg, what prevails, and what matters, is humor. These are happy, carefree and never serious relationships.
5.4. Mysterious
Finally, in mysterious stories or relationships, there is constant hiding of information by one of the members of the couple. The other is the one who is interested (and many times, even hooked) on the mystery.
