Are you attracted to intelligence? Sapiosexual is a concept that encompasses a type of relationship of intellectual sexual attraction that occurs between some people. Find out if you are.
What does it mean to be sapiosexual? Being sapiosexual It means feeling desire and sexual excitement for the intelligence of another person. Far from focusing on physical appearance or other qualities and values, the sapiosexual perceives attraction based on talent and culture: knowledge, conversations, words and writing.
For the sapisosexual person, mental stimulation is infinitely more exciting than aesthetic beauty or physical contact. The meaning of sapiosexuality comes from the word “sapiens” which means “wise” in Latin and in this article we will see its first references, what it implies and what it means to be sapiosexual.
What does it mean to be sapiosexual? Meaning
The erotic knowledge or sapiosexuality, is not a new concept, but has existed since the beginning of time. The philosopher Plato in his dialogue on Platonic love in The banquet already introduced the idea of a scale of gradation from bodily beauty to beauty of the soul and intelligence:
“What to think of a mortal to whom it was given to contemplate pure, simple and unmixed beauty, not clothed with flesh, luminous colors or all other perishable vanities, but divine beauty itself?
On a closer and more habitual level, we can see that sapiosexuality or attraction to intelligence in various situations. From the student who feels attracted to his teacher, whom he identifies as a person who fills him with new knowledge and who creates an asymmetrical relationship in terms of power, to the young man who sexually longs for mature people with great experience and experts in certain subjects. After all, the brain is the most important sexual organ.
Likewise, to confirm this phenomenon, it is worth highlighting the study Some people are sexually attracted to intelligence: A psychometric evaluation of sapiosexuality carried out by researchers Gilles E.Gignac, Joey Darbyshire and Michelle Ooi in the journal Intelligence in which it is stated that there is a relationship between the IQ and sexual attractiveness, being the second most relevant factor in couples. Thus, there are many more people who qualify as sapiosexuals than we think.
Sapiosexual men and women: differences
In terms of gender, specialists point out that there are more sapiosexual women than men since your brain You need other stimuli in addition to what sight provides to feel desire for another person. Men are generally more visual. But this does not mean that being sapiosexual is exclusive to the female gender or that they pay less attention to the physique of others.
Some experts also indicate that sapiosexual women may be due to the fact that traditionally intelligence has been associated with security, experience, protection or stability, which causes sexual expectations to skyrocket. However, as is usually the case, this type of sexual attraction also affects social, personal and emotional factors that help make the attraction for intelligence so explosive.
“Mental attraction is much stronger than physical attraction… You can’t get rid of a mind even if you close your eyes.”
Of course, some experts warn of the risks of sapiosexuality Regarding self-esteem, since asymmetrical and unequal relationships can be created in which sexual attraction to an intelligent person is confused with dependence on them. That is, you can feel intellectually inferior and admire your partner so much as to place them on a pedestal. Furthermore, the narcissistic people They can take advantage of it for their benefit. This is a problem that the sapiosexual has to be alert to.
Sapiosexual characteristics
This term refers to the attraction we may feel for people who attract us because of their intelligence or knowledge. Attraction to another person is defined by various facets of that person and above all for what is most important to us. What we are going to value most is not always physical appearance, beauty, social or economic status, friendliness or security.
When a person defines themselves, whether consciously or not, as sapiosexual, they are showing themselves as someone who has a attraction on the others that has a different basis. For this type of people, what is sought is that level of intelligence, power, or knowledge that makes you feel that the other person brings you something in this sense that you do not have, that motivates you intellectually to advance and learn more. on various topics. You need a type of person that you can admire, that you can consider even above your level, as someone that even those close to you will also value positively, where part of the excitement is in that feeling of superiority of the other.
- Educated people inspire you and even excite you: The sapiosexuals They feel seduced by cultured people capable of providing new knowledge that stimulates their sexual appetite through their brain. Most people attracted to sapiosexuality love to enjoy a deep conversation. That is why talking about one’s thoughts and questioning aspects of life are decisive in creating a mental and physical attraction for people who suffer from one of these sexual philias.
- You love to debate: They are people who are excited by complex conversations about politics, psychology, philosophy, science or art. They are attracted to speeches, readings and all kinds of cultural expressions. To the sapiosexuals They love it when their potential lovers challenge them to a debate, especially if it is about a topic they can defend themselves against.
- You admire people with a lot of vocabulary: They admire the richness of the vocabulary with cultured words that are little known to the majority of the population, resulting in novelty. As a consequence, they completely reject spelling mistakes and poor use of language. So much so that the sapiosexuals They completely exclude those who have bad spelling or who continually express themselves poorly from their love possibilities.
- You hate small talk: Another characteristic of be sapiosexual The thing is that these people are attracted to individuals who reflect on life and ramble philosophically on the most diverse topics. They flee from superficiality. A person who is sapophilic will only look for those people who can have a deep conversation about various topics. Upon hearing a completely trivial conversation, sapiosexuals will flee as soon as they can.
- You are looking for more than knowledge in a person: They like to use references of all kinds in existentialist and stimulating talks. When you are inside the sapiosexuality you love hearing what other people have to tell you about themselves. Furthermore, you hate those who only know how to show their knowledge through quotes and you adore those who brim with intelligence in every way.
- You love meeting challenging people: They need challenges mind to mind at a high and deep level with constant provocations. That is why you cannot put up with those who want to impose themselves on others through aggression or who want to impress through their achievements.
- The more you know someone interesting, the more attracted you are: The sapiosexuals They are curious by nature, they love to learn from all areas, question themselves, reflect and reach conclusions. The more complicated and mysterious a person is, the more they attract you.
- You always seek to learn: They are looking for new intellectual challenges that take them away from their routine life and allow them to open their minds to other discoveries. For you, the perfect plan with your partner is to watch documentaries or learn new skills with them. This gives them curiosity and pleasure.
For all these reasons, for the sapiosexual, conversations and exchanges of concepts are the most important part of the sexual courtship itself: the button that activates the beginning of the sexual relationship. seduction process of which every human being is a part and which is inherent to attraction itself. If you want to discover your sexuality or feel problems expressing it, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist.
Understanding sapiosexuality
For the sapiosexuals, intellect and knowledge is what makes them experience a strong attraction towards a person. In this way, this attraction to intelligence means the following:
- Start with the brain: Because the sapiosexuals They are attracted by intellect, the attraction only begins when you know the other. That is, there is no desire unless you know the person on an intellectual level. It is a sexuality that is progressive, since the more we discover, the more we like that person.
- We can all be sapiosexuals: The sapiosexual people They can be attracted to any gender and/or sexual identity. The reason is that they focus more on the inner workings of a person’s mind rather than the outside of it.
- Attraction without focusing on appearance: A sapiosexual They usually value intelligence much more than appearance, which implies that they experience attraction in a different way than others. The physical part remains on a lower step.
The sapiosexuality It implies that people value what is internal more than superficiality. In this way, a sapiosexual lives and is attracted to those who incite an intellectual interest.