Woody Allen is an eccentric character but also very intelligent This director, screenwriter, actor, musician, playwright, and comedian is extremely talented, but his life has not been free of controversy.
Now, in this article we are not going to go into detail about his private life, but we are going to focus on his great cinematographic success, where he has managed to succeed and has uttered numerous famous phrases.
10. –My days as a Catholic ended when I turned 16.
–My days as a Catholic ended when mom found my diaphragm
A part of the script for Alice (1990), a film directed and written by Woody Allen.
11. –Do you believe in God? –I can’t even take the leap of faith to believe in my own existence
From his work Shadows and Fog, from 1991. A quote about religion.
12. –Sex without love is an empty experience. -But as empty experience is one of the best
You are absolutely right in this sentence. Although not everyone will agree.
13. Fear is my most faithful companion, it has never tricked me into going with another
Taking life with humor, and talking about his fears naturally.
14. My psychoanalyst warned me about your bisexuality, but you were so pretty that I changed psychoanalysts
An excerpt from his film Manhattan, from 1979. A touch of humor that includes psychological therapy in its script.
15. –You have a problem committing: you didn’t know if you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer.
–And I committed myself: I became a writer and a patient. Everyone says I love you
A fun conversation that talks about how he did not leave his vocation as a psychologist to become a patient.
16. –It is my only love letter –It is beautiful –Most of it is plagiarized from James Joyce. You may have wondered what all those references to Dublin were about. Crimes and misdemeanors
Any word that comes out of his mind has a funny touch.
17. The two most beautiful words in our language are not “I love you!”, but “It is benign!”
Allen can joke even about topics as serious as cancer.
18. When I was a student, I was kicked out of school for cheating on the Metaphysics test. I looked into the soul of my deskmate
A fancy way of saying that he copied from his classmate.
19. . Empty sex is better than no sex, right?
From the play he directed himself, Memories, from 1980. I have always liked talking about sex.
20. Penis envy? I’m one of the few men who suffer from that.
A quote that appeared in his film Annie Hall. She talks about any topic with complete naturalness.
21. Of human weaknesses, obsession is the most dangerous, and the silliest
Obsession negatively affects people’s lives and can become a mental disorder.
22. A relationship is like a shark, it has to move forward or it dies. And what we have on our hands is a dead shark
Relationships can be hard and difficult. Especially when monotony takes over.
23. I keep wondering if there is life after death. And if there is, will they change you a twenty dollar bill?
A topic as delicate as death is a source of joke for Woody Allen.
24. I love him like a brother: like Cain loves Abel
In other words. It’s not exactly affection that he has for her.
25. (About sex) I never had so much fun without laughing
At Annie Hall. And she is right in what she says. One of the most pleasant things in life.
26. The truth is a great mystery, since few know it, that is why it is a joke every time it is heard.
Lying is the order of the day. Few people are honest nowadays.
27. I can’t listen to Wagner that much. I feel like invading Poland
From his work “Manhattan Murder Mystery”, 1993.
28. You can deduce that the message is that the only way to be happy is to believe in an afterlife. And they wouldn’t be wrong. I firmly believe that life is something terrifying and unstable for the rest of us mortals. The only way to survive is to deceive yourself, people are desperate to find something to believe in
A phrase that, as harsh as it may seem, may have a lot of truth.
29. I’m not afraid of death, I just wouldn’t want to be there when it happens
Everyone would agree with Woody Allen in this phrase.
30. The brain is the most overrated of the organs
For Woody Allen, too much value is placed on the brain.
31. How do you want me to forget you if when I start to forget you I forget to forget you and start to remember you
Heartbreak is a painful stage of life, and it takes time for one to feel better.
32. Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the answer
Love can make us feel like we live on a cloud. So it can cure many illnesses.
33. You have to work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not the same
Logically, being awake is not the same as being asleep. Not resting and working.
34. As a comedian, if I can get someone high to laugh it doesn’t count, because they laugh all the time
People, when we have consumed alcohol, have a good time with little.
35. I suffered from incontinence when I was little, and because I used to sleep with an electric blanket, I was constantly electrocuting myself.
A few words that speak of Woody Allen’s own childhood.
36. We fall in love. Well I fell in love, she was just there
A declaration of love from Woody Allen. Of course, with his touch of humor.
37. Retirement is for people who have spent a lifetime hating what they did.
You can enjoy work and not feel like it’s work or work to earn money and suffer every day.
38. Eighty percent of success is being there
Luck has something to do with achieving success. However, attitude is also very important.
39. I have never seen a classical music violinist so attractive. Normally they are all Hungarian refugees
Making a joke about violinists. It appears in his work: Memories.
40. Love is the most complex emotion. Human beings are unpredictable. There is no logic in his emotions. Where there is no logic there is no rational thought. And where there is no rational thought there can be a lot of romance, but a lot of suffering.
Emotions, if we do not manage them effectively, can create a lot of suffering.
41. Come on, confess one more time. It’s free
Confessing has no cost, as Woody Allen says. Of course, he says it in an ironic tone.
42. No one in my family has ever committed suicide, it was not an alternative for those in the middle class. My mother was too busy in the kitchen killing the flavor of the chicken to think about shooting herself.
Low tolerance for frustration makes people depressed at the first opportunity.
43. The world of entertainment is a jungle, it is worse than a jungle: instead of devouring each other, they stop calling each other on the phone
The problem is that show business has become a business. Therefore, what dominates is money.
44. Some marriages end well; others last a lifetime
Nowadays, many couples separate. Divorces are on the agenda.
45. Feeling guilty is important. I feel guilty all the time and I have never done anything
Actually, one should not blame oneself all the time. But for Woody Allen this is a joke.
46. –We are people, we are just human beings, you know? You believe you are God. –I have to mold myself into someone’s image
A reflection that appeared in his cinematographic work: Manhattan.
47. Only art is controllable. Art and masturbation. Two fields in which I am an expert
This character is capable of considering masturbation as an art.
48. All the prostitutes I talk to tell me that it is better than working as a waitress. Working as a waitress must be the most screwed up job in the world. Taking Harry Apart, 1997
Seen this way it may have some logic. But not if it comes from the mind of Woody Allen.
49. After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her. And after half an hour he had completely abandoned the idea of stealing her wallet.
This phrase can only be understood if you have seen his work before: Take the money and run.
50. (Talking about going to the movies during the day) It’s great. It’s like playing hooky from life
The cinema is an ideal place to get lost and disappear, because you can get inside the film.
51. Sex relieves tension and love causes it
A quote that invites the author to deep reflection.
52 –It’s hard to believe you haven’t made love in 200 years. –204 if you take into account my marriage
Some words that appeared in his work “El dormilón”. A criticism of marriage.
53. The strength of your thoughts and the reflection of your actions are the signature you leave in this world
The attitude a person has greatly influences the path one follows and what one achieves.
54. His transformation into a rabbi is so real that some sectors suggest sending him to Devil’s Island
A phrase taken from Zelig, one of his works. It’s from 1983
55. People should mate forever like penguins or Catholics
It is not necessary to live as a couple forever. But marriage has to do with the Catholic religion.
56. The question is: have I learned anything about life? Just this: human beings are divided between mind and body. The mind embraces all the noble aspirations, such as poetry and philosophy, but the body gets all the fun.
Fun seems to be one of Woody Allen’s core values.
57. You use sex to express any emotion except love
Sex can be related to love, or it can just be sex.
58. I don’t know anything about suicides. Where I come from, in Brooklyn, no one commits suicide. People are too unhappy
An ironic phrase that talks about suicide and unhappiness.
59. In politics, I lean towards an honest democracy. And I also believe that the American system can work
Woody Allen explains his political thoughts in this phrase.
60. I don’t want to get married, I just want to get divorced
For some people, life as a couple becomes something impossible to manage.
61. People want a fictional life and fictional characters a real life
There are many people who want to experience a movie. His own movie.
62. The difference between death and sex is that death is something that you can do alone and without anyone laughing after you
A curious, far-fetched and funny comparison between death and sex.
63. For you, I am an atheist. For God, the faithful opposition
Making it clear what your position is regarding religion.
64. When I was little I wanted to have a dog, but my parents were poor and they could only buy me an ant
An absurd quote, but one that has its touch of grace.
65. My grandmother never gave gifts. She was too busy being raped by the Cossacks
These words may be shocking, but they appear in her work Annie Hall (1977).
66. I haven’t seen my psychoanalyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian and if he had seen him all this time now he would be almost cured.
Meaning that he has a mental disorder and that he has not gone to psychological therapy to overcome it.
67. The last time I was inside a woman was visiting the Statue of Liberty
In reference to the fact that he hasn’t had sexual relations for a long time.
68. There is an old joke: two older women are in a high mountain hotel and one comments, “Wow, the food here is really terrible!”, and the other answers: “And the portions are very small, too!” . Well, that’s basically how life seems to me, full of loneliness, hysteria, suffering, sadness, and yet it ends too quickly.
A joke that Woody Allen uses to exemplify his vision of life.
69. Honey, you were the one who wanted to stop sleeping with me. April 20 will be one year old. I remember the day because it is Hitler’s birthday
An ingenious phrase that was pronounced in “Crimes and Misdemeanors” (1989)
70. My ex-husband and I were love at first sight. I should have taken another look
From his film Crimes and Misdemeanors, a great film in which seriousness and humor reach a deep balance.
71. I admit I was a lucky fool. If I had not been born in Brooklyn and had grown up in Poland or Berlin, today I would be a lamp
From his work Memories, which is filmed in New Jersey, and is Woody Allen’s tenth feature film.
72. I don’t want to move to a city whose only cultural advantage is being able to turn right on a red light.
Appeared in Annie Hall. Possibly one of the best romantic love films.
73. –I don’t know, maybe excessive masturbation on your part. –Hey, don’t mess with my hobbies!
An ingenious answer, which appears in his film “Hannah and her sisters”.
74. Don’t mess with masturbation. It’s having sex with someone I love
Like the previous quote. Woody Allen openly defends masturbation.
75. I have an interesting case. I am treating two pairs of Siamese siblings with multiple personalities. Eight people pay me
From Zelig, one of his comedies with great psychological content.
76 –What does it feel like to be dead for 200 years? –It’s like spending a weekend in New York
The Sleeper, 1973
77. Why don’t I stop destroying my life looking for answers that I will never find, and dedicate myself to enjoying it while it lasts?
Sometimes, people can dwell on our problems.
78. I was raised in the Israelite confession, but when I became an adult I converted to narcissism
A scene from his film “Scoop”, released in 2006.
79. All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. Which means all men are gay
A bit strange relationship. Only possible from the mind of Woody Allen.
80. More than at any other time in history, humanity is at a crossroads. One path leads to absolute despair. The other, to total extinction. May God we have the wisdom to choose correctly
Human beings can be our worst enemies.
81. He is a wonderful boy and a wonderful doctor. He never lost a patient. He got two of them pregnant, but he never lost any
A story that is part of one of his films. Specifically, “a midsummer night’s sex comedy.”
82. Do you know what my philosophy is? That it is important to have a good time, but you also have to suffer a little, because otherwise you don’t understand the meaning of life.
Living in the present is the philosophy of Woody Allen and those people who want to be happy.
83. It’s not bad that your father and I disagree, that’s what democracy is. He defends the right wing of the Republican party and I think you have to be completely crazy to do so.
A quote about politics taken from his feature film “Midnight in Paris”, which was released in 2011.
