What To Do When They Play With Your Feelings: 10 Recommendations
Sometimes, we begin to trust someone unconditionally and we allow him to discover facets of our personality that are not available to everyone… and we think that the feeling is mutual.
When we realize that the other person did not really show themselves as they really are and did not trust us in the same way, a feeling of frustration overcomes us. We perceive that our expectations were not met and we feel betrayed.
So that… What to do when they play with your feelings? In this article we will talk about this, we will see how to prevent the feeling of discomfort from taking over us and we will review useful tips to deal with this situation and prevent it from happening again.
What to do when they play with your feelings (in a relationship or friendship)
When we are aware that we have given more than necessary in a relationship and we do not receive what we expected from the other person, or worse yet, we discover that that special person for us deceived us in some way. That’s when frustration sets in for us.
To answer the question of what to do when they play with your feelings, let’s see what are the tools with which we can confront this situation.
1. Understand that it is a situation that does not depend on you
You do not have control over the other person, the decisions that the other has made are solely their responsibility and that does not have to affect your emotional stability.
Although it is hard, you must realize that in the same way that you could not prevent the other person from not taking you into account, You are not guilty of the actions of others
2. Remember that you gave your best
Once we have understood that we do not exercise any control over the thoughts and actions of other people, it is good to remember that our behavior was worthy of a good friend or a good partner.
Don’t feel bad about it, on the contrary, focus on the fact that you have the ability to provide others with a relationship of these characteristics and that is something that will accompany you wherever you go.
3. Avoid catastrophic thinking
In this situation that means do not think that all people are the same, avoid generalizing Otherwise we could fall into social withdrawal, and that situation is never good for our emotional health.
The ideal is to take some time and then give yourself the opportunity to meet new people, always providing confidence and being open to trusting them too. Just because you’ve been betrayed doesn’t mean it has to happen again.
4. Strengthen autonomy
The more responsible we are for ourselves, for our emotions and feelings, the easier it will be for us to recover from a betrayal Depending on another to be well is unhealthy and generates emotional dependence.
The most ideal thing is that we can be calm and happy, even when we do not have company. If we learn to take advantage of our solitude and enjoy it, then we can create better social relationships
5. Knowing how to create expectations
This does not mean that we do not expect anything from others, it means that we must better evaluate the expectations we place on others, and ask ourselves to what extent these are achievable or not.
So it will be less likely that someone will let us down and we will be avoiding future frustrations.
6. Not dedicating all our time to one person
Although we really like being with someone, and we would always want to see them, this behavior is not healthy for the relationship. We all need our space to develop in personal areas which may not be of interest to that special person.
You can have other friendships with which you feel comfortable in certain spaces. For example, gym friends, or friends with whom you practice sports.
7. Work in different areas of our life
Focus all our energy on social relationships will make us limit ourselves in other aspects which are equally important for our personal satisfaction. For example, focus on the academic and work area.
This will allow us to achieve personal goals that we can enjoy both alone and in company, and we will be less likely to fall into emotional dependence
8. Practice expressiveness
When we feel like we’ve been betrayed, talking about it greatly alleviates the discomfort. Tell your experience to other friends It frees you from an emotional weight that you carry, and you can also obtain valuable advice to help you move forward.
This consists of being able to end the stages of your life in an assertive and healthy way for all parties involved.
When you are able to realize that some people are no longer good for your life, you need to put an end to that story. Without hard feelings, saying goodbye with your head held high and moving forward
10. Go to therapy
Attending therapy can help you put into practice all the tools you need to progress and get out of that uncomfortable situation you find yourself in. You don’t have to have hit rock bottom to go to therapy; In fact, you can do it preventatively when you think you need it.
When it comes to love relationships, the work done by psychologists through psychotherapy helps us close the cycle of grief caused by frustration and hopelessness. The fact that someone with whom we have been in love plays with our feelings not only leads to an obvious degradation of that emotional bond; Furthermore, it makes us feel like tools used by someone who we believed would have a central role in our lives.
Realizing this means saying goodbye to both the idealized version of that person we have loved, and that future together that we imagine. And the work of overcoming this grief is something that psychotherapists do in a specialized way, since it is part of the most common problems when it comes to personal relationships that damage psychologically.
But That type of pain is also present when a friend has played with our emotions Saying goodbye to a friendship like this and having to reinterpret the moments spent together is usually hard. This process of reinterpreting memories is also something that is done in psychological therapy.
