It always happens that we had a plan with a friend, a special person or, simply, with someone we met last week and, in the end, they don’t show up.
We all have unforeseen events and, also, we may not like to stay for one day but there is a big difference between having a bad day and not being able to stay and systematically jilting others.
Being stood up every now and then is not good for our self-esteem since no one wants to feel rejected. If you are one of those who often complains about “being constantly stood up” this article is for you Let’s look at a few tips on what to do.
Most of us enjoy meeting other people to go to a bar, a restaurant, go for a walk, or simply stay at an acquaintance’s house. Whether it’s a friend, a boyfriend, or a date, the truth is that meeting someone is usually a moment of interaction that is part of the human need for sociability. We may call ourselves “antisocial,” but for the most part we like to spend time with other people
Unfortunately, sometimes our plans are cut short. After showering, getting dressed, getting ready and getting ready to meet our date, our group of friends or simply to see someone we haven’t seen in a long time, he goes and tells us that he can’t meet, that something has happened. He may not even tell us anything at all, either he expects us to assume it or, as surprising (and irritating) as it may seem to us, he has forgotten that he had today reserved with us.
One, two or a few more times is tolerable. Everyone has an unexpected event from time to time and there is no reason to feel bad for not being able to attend. We must recognize that even we ourselves may be too lazy to stay one day and, assertively, decide to cancel the plan. Now, If we are left standing up a lot, it is common to think that something bad is happening and we even think that it is our fault that the person who was supposed to like seeing us turns out to not be that interested in us at the end of the day.
The reasons behind a person standing us up are many and, really, if things are not discussed or asked why they did not show up when we had agreed, it is impossible for us to guess the reason for their stand-up. Whatever happened (or what he wanted), we can barely do anything for his part, but we can do nothing for ours. We can continue a series of tips to better manage the seedling and that at least we don’t get more upset than being stood up already means.
1. Try to locate our date
First of all, we should not assume that we have been stood up for no reason. Sometimes things happen, and something bad may have happened to our date. Whether it is a trusted friend, a new friend or potential partner, it is best to try to locate them, find out if something has happened to explain their lateness or absence.
This is something we may not consider with a person who has stood us up before, but it is best to at least try to see where they are. If he is still at home and it seems that he has not even prepared himself, then at least we know that we have been waiting too long for him.
It may sound strange, but there really are people who forget that they had a date. It’s not that they are bad people, they are just forgetful and By locating them and reminding them that they had a plan, the situation can be solved a little The sit-in is already assured, but at least we know that it is not voluntary.
If, on the other hand, he doesn’t even deign to give us any signs of life or it sounds like he’s making up an excuse not to meet, then it’s clear that we don’t care much about that person. In this case, let him stay in his house, it’s better for us to have the party ourselves.
It’s obvious that being jilted isn’t going to sit well with us, but it’s not worth losing your cool over someone who hasn’t come, whether consciously or simply because they’ve forgotten.
The moment we know that whoever was supposed to come is not coming, the best we can do is prevent the situation from getting worse. We must try to stay calm, avoid getting angry and much less call and reproach the other party for not coming.
We have the right to be angry, there is no doubt about that, but we must also try to keep a cool head Because a lot of stupid things can be said in the heat and we never know if something serious has really happened or the other person has started to feel anxious and has canceled plans at the last minute because they don’t know how to manage it.
Besides, what good is it to get angry when we’ve been stood up again? If it is something that has happened to us before, we cannot lose our cool every time it happens, since we will lose a lot of mental health over time. Better accept it and start stopping counting on that person for future plans
3. Don’t feed the drama
It sounds strange to think that we can act normal when we’ve just been stood up. It is possible that the other party does not know how to see the negative side of not having given sufficient notice that you were not coming.
It may be that he really doesn’t do it the wrong way, that this is his way of being and that he doesn’t really realize how bad it can be for another person to propose a plan and then not carry it out.
If you write to us after a while as if nothing had happened, the best thing we can do is act in the same way, showing that we have not been affected by this situation and, if it is a date or a person in whom we do not You are so confident, it is best to be worthy and do not magnify what matters to us that does not come
No matter how much being left alone hurts us, taking revenge is not the solution. It is very ugly and the only thing we will achieve is to increase the ball of disappointments, disappointments and bad feelings.
We cannot expect to demand punctuality and, when we see that they do not comply with the plans, leave that person behind the next time. This, far from being seen as a lesson in his own medicine, the other person will understand it as something bad, and You will begin to feel free to justify your future absences with a “but you also stood me up.”
5. Seize the moment
Typical situation of meeting a friend: we said about going to a bar at 5 p.m. We arrive at the establishment on time, we wait and wait and we see that that “good” friend is not coming. And now that?
Well, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. We can’t pretend to be in a bad mood in a bar because the other person doesn’t come. The idea was to stay with him but, If he doesn’t come, since we are there we take advantage of the moment and order ourselves something to drink
Whether he leaves us alone because he wants to or if something bad has happened, the best we can do is not get bitter. Nobody stops us from enjoying the afternoon because they have left us alone.
Sometimes it is better to be alone than in bad company and it may even help us to meet someone new in that place and if not we can always call another friend who is more reliable and who fills in the absence of the other.
