Know how to defend yourself, not let the rest invade your territory. Know how to set limits so as not to give in to emotional blackmail or psychological manipulations. Find out how to do it.
Our own freedoms end where those of others begin, that is something we learn from childhood. The problem arises when the limit between one and the other is not correctly established. When people don’t know put limits They end up suffering a series of psychological consequences because of it. For this reason, knowing how to set limits is one of the knowledge that we should apply in our daily lives.
Limits In personal relationships they can take various forms. These can be either rigid or very strict to the point of seeming almost non-existent. According to psychologists, there are different types of limits in people.
People with rigid boundaries
There are people who know very well put limits to others. But although knowing how to set limits is a positive thing, when these barriers are too strict, they end up being a disadvantage for the person themselves. This happens because by having and setting limits for such demanding people, this ends up causing the following havoc.
Maintains a lot of distance from others
He seems like a very cold person.
Ends up having few close relationships
Avoid deep relationships
People who don’t know how to set limits
On the other hand, we have people who don’t know set limits on people that surround them. So much so that they end up giving in so much that their interests are harmed. In these cases, people usually have the following problems.
They get too involved with other people’s problems
They find it difficult to say no
Share personal information with people not very close to you
Seeks to please others for fear of rejection
People with healthy boundaries
On the other hand, people who know how to put some limits Adjusted to what they really need without being cold towards others, they have the following characteristics.
Share your personal information in the most appropriate way
Understands your needs and knows how to communicate them to others
It is normal that you identify with each of these types of situations. Despite this, most people have a tendency when it comes to setting limits. If you think that this is a present problem for you and you think that it is not you know how to set limits to people, it is vital that you start working on it either with your resources or with the help of a professional psychologist.
Why is it important to learn to set limits?
Dominant people, by nature, tend to take up more stage space, so to speak, than submissive people. They do not do it as a sign of contempt for others but because they tend to have less ability to doubt their own decisions or because they have a high level of energy that they need to deploy. However, it’s not always like that; There are those who enjoy not only dominating, but also humiliating others. Whether for one reason or another, we must keep in mind that when we interact with dominant people we run the risk of being overwhelmed by Its limits or having to give up land that belongs to us.
Put limits It is being very clear about what we consider our own, whether belongings, rights, opinions, etc., and having the confidence to let others know at the right time and not letting them take away our rightful place. To set limits effectively, you have to know how to control your own emotions. In the face of any sign of abuse, do not let yourself be carried away by anger or despondency, but rather maintain a firm and serene attitude. Giving in to abuse will undermine our self-esteem and the abuser will return to blackmail us with even greater force. We must be fair to ourselves and love ourselves enough to remember that true charity “starts at home.” In this way, setting limits for others will allow us the following benefits:
More compassion: People who know put limits They are also more compassionate towards others. Sometimes we tend to think that setting limits can be bad or wrong. In reality, limits are not negative, on the contrary, you make people respect you and you respect yourself.
Greater assertiveness: Boundaries are also a way of asserting your needs. Know how to set limits on others It allows us to pay attention to how we feel and what we need.
You will satisfy your needs: We all have physical and emotional needs. Know how to set limits on people It involves knowing how to explain to them what we need.
Less anger and resentment: When we don’t set limits on others We end up doing things that conflict with our values. This ends up taking its toll on us.
Less worries: To the not knowing how to resolve the limits with those around us, we can end up spending our free time thinking about worries or problems with others. For this reason, when we know how to set limits, people are more likely to not ‘waste’ energy on it.
As we see, there are many benefits behind know how to set limits In these cases, knowing how to do it can improve our lives in many ways.
How to learn to set limits for people?
If you feel identified with people who don’t know how to set limits to others, here we will show you some keys so that you can learn some techniques to love yourself and know how to put barriers in front of others. According to psychologists, the best way to do this is by following these attitudes.
Get to know yourself more in depth: Maybe you don’t know how to set limits to others because you do not have enough knowledge of yourself. In these cases, the key is to try to take time to be with yourself and introspect to get to know yourself better. To do this, you can ask yourself the following: Why don’t I know how to set limits? What happens when I give in to my interests? Am I at my limit? In this way, you will be able to identify those situations in which you do not you know how to set limits for others even though you don’t want to compromise on your personal interests.
Start with small steps: It is obvious that you cannot change from one day to the next. For this reason, it is essential that you keep in mind that learn to set limits It is a process that takes a long time. Therefore, the key will be to try to start by taking small steps to set limits for people. Start by communicating your wishes to others and expanding this in more and more situations.
Post them the sooner the better: It is very difficult put limits when they have already been established for a long time. Therefore, you should know that the sooner you put them in, the easier it will be for you. If you are not able to do this at the beginning of a relationship, it is essential that you start communicating this as soon as possible.
Be confident and consistent in yourself: Security is one of the keys to knowing how to be respected by others and set limits on relationships along with those around you. Therefore, one of the keys to knowing how to set limits is precisely to start by having more confidence in yourself. Start by working on your self-esteem and confidence, this will make you feel more capable of creating these boundaries towards others.
Learn to communicate well: In many cases some individuals have afraid of setting limits on people since he feels that they may offend them with his words. In these cases, the key to solving this fear is knowing how to communicate better and learning social skills that allow us to express ourselves better in front of others.
Look at it from another perspective: The key to knowing how to communicate and set limits on people It is trying to take importance from everything that surrounds us. In order to devalue what happens to us, it is important to work on trying to see it from another perspective. Double attention means trying to see yourself from the outside and being able to see your situations from another perspective.
Change your way of thinking: Another reason why people don’t know how to set limits on others It is precisely because negative thoughts invade your mind. Therefore, to learn to set limits you must try to rationalize this negative internal dialogue. By putting logic into these ideas, you will see how it makes no sense to think this way.
Put limits It is one of the most effective ways to improve our relationships with others. If you think you are not capable of achieving it, it is important that you visit a psychologist who specializes in it. By learning to set limits, you not only improve your relationships, but you will also be able to live happier with yourself.
