Being social animals gives us many advantages, but it also brings its challenges. For example, in many cases, the problems of others become, even in part, our problems. For example, it often happens to us that complicated situations arise around us and those around us need us.
In cases like this It is essential to know how to act to be worthy of their trust and have assertive communication We must free ourselves from all judgment and prejudice, generating a climate of openness and harmony.
Here I present a brief guide in which I explain what to do and what not to achieve good results and have solid links.
When someone comes to us with a complicated situation, a problem or the simple need to vent, we need to be able to listen actively, with openness.
What not to do?
What we should not do is the following.
1. Try to provide solutions
If the person just wants to vent we should not encourage her to withdraw into herself and stop expressing herself, increasing her frustration.
2. Explain what we would do in their place
Each one solves problems from their own way of being, thinking and acting; Therefore, the responsibility to resolve it lies with each person, according to their own parameters. If that person follows our “instructions” and feels that the result is not adequate, they will hold us responsible If the achievement is what is expected, it will generate dependency and they will come to us every time a situation arises, and that will not help them to resolve it on their own or generate their own paths. Each one must do it from their feelings.
Every situation is different , that is why the experience is personal and non-transferable. Each one must look for the solution using their own tools.
4. Counterargue
Each one has their own way of perceiving reality and relating to reality, and it is from there that we must resolve each situation. It’s not a competition either. If what they tell us is compared to something that has happened to us, it is better at that moment tolet the other express themselves without giving premature solutions or telling our story
5. Judge
Let’s not judge the other, this way they will be honest with us and place their trust.
6. Downplay or change the subject
Finally, let’s avoid getting distracted from the story Let’s maintain sustained attention.
To do?
In the first instance it is important let people talk without interruptions with an attentive attitude and holding his gaze.
It is also key ask open questions one at a time, so that the person can express themselves freely and expand the information they give us.
On the other hand, we must put ourselves in the other’s shoes, thinking about what that person would do based on their way of thinking, feeling and acting. Let’s avoid thinking about what we would do in their place, since that attitude hinders empathy. The essential thing is to understand the other person’s feelings and think about what that person would do.
If we listen assertively, We will make that person feel valued, understood and comforted and you will surely come to us another time.
