What can we do when we don’t know how to express our emotions? How can we help someone open up emotionally? Discover the reasons behind this difficulty and how to overcome it.
Sometimes it can be difficult to open up and express our feelings, but making the effort to share what we think benefits both our relationships and our well-being. There are people who do not express their feelings because they have difficulty knowing how to identify and tell their emotions to others. So how should we treat or Help a person who does not express their feelings ?
Why is it so difficult to express feelings?
The people who do not express their feelings They usually experience these difficulties because it is difficult for them to open up. This may be related to the following:
- Difficult topics: It is normal that when a traumatic experience or an emotionally complicated topic is shared, people tend to close down. In these cases, it may appear that someone has a lack of feelings or is cold
- Attachment problems: The different types of affection or attachment that we have created during childhood are often related to our behavior or personality. In fact, a lack of secure attachment from parents or due to trauma can make it difficult for us to open up to others. Additionally, insecure attachment makes people reluctant to express their feelings for fear of rejection.
- Culture: Sometimes some ‘social norms’ mean that there are certain ‘taboo’ topics with which some people may experience difficulty talking about our feelings.
- Personality: There are people who seem to have their ‘ice hearts ‘because they tend to be more reluctant to express their feelings. In these cases, people may have a more introverted and reserved personality, which can also make them appear colder and lacking in feelings and emotions.
- Mental disorders: In some cases, the people who do not express their feelings or who seem unemotional may be experiencing a mental disorder such as depression or anxiety. Anehedonia, or the inability to experience pleasure, is one of the symptoms that people suffering from depression or anxiety can suffer from.
If you feel like you can’t express your feelings or emotions to others and this is limiting your life, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist to be able to solve it.
How to express our feelings and emotions?
Luckily, with effort and work, everyone can end up learning to express your feelings or emotions Therefore, we recommend the following:
- Identify what blocks you from expressing your feelings: The first step is to know why you may experience these difficulties expressing your feelings. To achieve this, the following questions can help you: Are you sharing your feelings to vent? Do you want some advice? Or are you sharing so we can get to know you more?
- Start little by little: It is obvious that you will not change from one day to the next. This way, you may find it easier to try to express the least uncomfortable feelings at first and then open up to more.
- Remember that it is harmful to keep feelings repressed: To motivate yourself to do so, it is vital that you remember that keeping your feelings repressed is not only useless, but can also harm us in the long term both internally and in our relationships.
- Identify and accept your emotions: One of the ways of power express your feelings It is more convenient to know how to identify them correctly. Because difficult emotions can often be complex, it is essential to take a moment of self-reflection to identify what you are feeling and then allow yourself to allow these feelings.
How to treat a person who does not express their feelings?
If someone you care about has problems opening up to you it is vital that you keep the following in mind:
- Be patient: People don’t change overnight. Furthermore, expressing feelings is difficult if there is a problem behind it, such as a disorder or childhood trauma. Patience will be the key to making it easier for people to open up to you.
- Express your intentions : Make it clear to the person that you want to talk about the problem at hand. You take the first steps and establish an agreement to discuss the topic.
- Active listening : The people that have difficulties expressing their feelings They must feel safe to be able to overcome it. Active listening involves paying attention to every word you say and trying to empathize with the person you are talking to.
- Show appreciation: Let the person understand that you understand the effort they are making to share their feelings with you.
- Do not judge: Judging is the last thing you should do if you want someone to express their feelings or emotions. Sometimes we tend to make judgments without meaning to, so pay attention to your thoughts before transforming them into words.
- Realize that there is a reason why they can’t be emotional: Whether because of an inherent fear or something that happened in the past, these people can be emotionally closed due to these types of problems. Therefore, they may not express their feelings because of it.
- Become more aware of your responses: Some people may stop expressing their feelings because they do not want to risk or create a problem in a relationship, especially when they are very sensitive people. In this way, they try to face their emotions without the other’s help even though it is a shared problem. In these cases, it is vital to try to work with our responses and emotions to be able to react in a calmer way that invites this person to be more comfortable sharing their feelings.
As you practice being a good listener, your loved one will feel more comfortable around you. open up and express your feelings or emotions Over time, this will help you strengthen your relationship and reap emotional benefits from it.