A Fun Animated Short About Our Weapons Of Seduction
Seduction is a dance of unconscious movements that bring us closer to each other with the objective of seeing and recognizing each other, whose objective is to please while preserving our own needs, always understanding that of the person in front of us.
It is a process in which two individuals approach and interact with a more or less explicit purpose of having an intimate encounter. Weapons of seduction make flirting more effective and exciting.
With a fun animated short titled Split brainthe therapists at the Mensalus Psychological and Psychiatric Assistance Institute talk to us about weapons of seduction and self-confidence.
You can watch the short film below.
When do we try to seduce?
By nature we want to be liked, not only in the sexual field, but in all areas. Seduction goes much further. We constantly seduce.
Weapons of seduction are those communication skills at a verbal and non-verbal level that make it easier for us to express and receive feedback. It is what we would colloquially call “seeking to leave a mark.”
From a more psychological perspective, how can we understand this “leaving a mark”?
We can understand it from the ability to connect with the person or people to whom we are addressing. To do this, one of the main keys is empathic looking and listening, that is, the ability to dedicate our time and energy to understanding what is happening at the moment in which we are located, without evading ourselves and being physically and mentally present.
Perhaps we could say that neither one thing nor the other. The seduction process is the result of a combination: being faithful to how one is “born” (one’s own essence) and being attentive to everything that is also done, with time and experience. The balance between personality traits, the most core values and vital learning offers an image of ourselves full of meaning (this is the cover letter for seduction).
We transfer this meaning when we communicate. The harmony between the elements that define us gives and gives off security, a security that others see and respond to.
How can we work on this security?
The phrase “to be liked you have to be sure of yourself” demands that “the pieces of the puzzle” fit together, that is, that what we show is in line with our thoughts and our emotions.
From Psychology we work on coherence between our system of beliefs, feelings and actions based on dynamics that reveal who that person is, what moves them and what objectives they want to achieve. Sometimes, the goals we pursue do not fit with our vital needs and that is where the discomfort resulting from the incongruence appears.
Realizing those comfort zones in which we remain immersed due to “fear of” (fear of disappointing, fear of making mistakes, fear of losing, fear of not being liked, fear of being different, etc.) is the first step to reconnect. with core values (those that define how the person builds life) and draw an action for change.
In this sense, social desirability (the desire to be liked and accepted) can obfuscate individual need (“others expect me…”). Seduction seeks to please while preserving one’s own needs and understanding that of the person in front of us.
So, to seduce, empathy is essential?
Exact. And this is a failure that we often comment on, not only with regard to seduction in the sexual field, but also in the world of advertising, information, services, etc.
One of the successes of seduction is to understand what is happening around us by maintaining the position of spectator (the objective gaze).
Likewise, enjoying the bond we create, whatever type it may be, is another of the great ingredients we look for. It may sound cliché, but it is a great truth. From the moment we stop understanding seduction as a pleasurable act and personal fulfillment, it will possibly be much more difficult for us to see and be seen.
What the psychology of attraction says
Attraction is a phenomenon closely linked to seduction, but… what does science say about it? What results have research on attraction shown? Do we like them handsome or ugly? What do studies tell us about body language?
If you are interested in knowing some of the scientific conclusions about attraction, you can read this article: “The psychology of attraction, in 12 keys.”
